Begin Again
by catsaretriangles
Summary: Femslash/When Michiru dies of leukemia, Haruka is left all alone, pregnant with twins, the next generation sailor Neptune and sailor Uranus. What will happen as she has to deal with her pregnancy and a broken heart. But what will happen when she finds herself unexpectedly falling for the most unexpected person and will she ever be able to love anyone besides Michiru?
1. Chapter 1

Everything had been normal that day.

The two lovers had been out at the park, laughing and eating ice cream. Haruka had her arm wrapped tightly around Michiru's waist as they walked along, licking their ice cream and reminiscing about past times.

Everything was normal until Michiru fainted. Her eyes shut and she fell to the ground, landing with a loud thud.

"Michiru!" Haruka screamed as she bent down to pick up her lover, dropping her ice cream while she did so.

She picked up the unconscious girl in her arms and held her tightly to her chest while trying to hold back tears.

She instantly ran to her car with Michiru limp in her arms and set the girl down in the back seat.

She buckled her in tight and raced to the front seat, slamming the door as she got in and not even bothering to put on her seat belt.

She sped off to the hospital and carried the still unconscious girl inside.

It took one (agonizing) hour before Michiru was able to be seen.

By the time they got into a room, Michiru had started to wake up. "What happened?" she asked as she looked around the room.

"You fainted. I was so worried about you Michiru." Haruka said, as she tried to hold herself back from crying.

"Haruka, I'm fine. You didn't have to take me to a doctor you know."

"I know, but I wanted to make sure you were alright."

The doctor came in after that and did a quick check up on Michiru.

"Everything looks fine to me. Come back though if you have any more issues." he said and waved the two girls goodbye.

A few weeks passed by before Michiru had another fainting spell.

And after that one she had several more.

Haruka was getting more and more worried about her and every time they went to see a doctor they'd say she was fine.

It was only after about the twentieth time she had fainted that the doctor suggested that they run a blood test on her.

So there they were, waiting in the doctors office waiting for the results, with Haruka shaking while Michiru held her hand and reassured her that she was fine.

Suddenly the door opened and the doctor walked in. His expression was serious and blank, but behind that blank look Haruka could sense that something was wrong.

"So, what are the results?" Haruka demanded impatiently.

The doctor sighed and looked at them with a look of sadness in his eyes. "Miss Kaioh, I'm sorry to tell you this but you have leukemia."

Haruka's expression went blank, and she let go of Michiru's hand. "L-leukemia?" she asked quietly to which the doctor only nodded.

She couldn't take it anymore and fell to the floor. All her walls came crashing down and she started screaming and crying.

"I'll leave you two alone." the doctor whispered and left the room, leaving behind a broken Haruka and a just as broken Michiru.

"Haruka, please don't cry." Michiru whispered as tears fell down her own cheeks.

Haruka stood up and hugged Michiru tightly, sobbing into her shoulder. "I don't want to lose you again." she whispered sadly. "I-if you die from this, you won't be reborn again. Scouts can't be reborn when they die from natural causes."

Michiru wrapped her own arms tightly around her lover and rubbed her back. "I promise you that I won't die. I promise." she said.

They pulled apart slightly and kissed. "Ashiteru Michiru."

"I love you too Haruka..."

/

Four years went by and Michiru was still battling cancer. They were both 22 now and had gotten married a year ago.

Haruka was currently visiting her wife at the hospital who was undergoing another round of chemotherapy.

Michiru was bald now as she had shaved her head a few years ago before she lost her hair to the chemotherapy. She was much thinner now and you could see her collarbones clearly sticking out of her chest, and her skin was ghostly pale.

"Haruka?" Michiru asked softly.

Haruka tuned her head to look at her. "Hai?"

Michiru grabbed her hand and took a deep breath before speaking. "I have something to tell you." she said softly as she gave Haruka's hand a slight squeeze.

"The doctor said that I only have a month left to live." she whispered sadly.

Haruka's eyes widened and tears began to fall down her cheeks. "No that can't be right." she whispered choking back tears.

Michiru sighed and gave her hand another tight squeeze. "Haruka, it's the truth, even if you're not ready to admit it right now. With that being said, I won't be reincarnated again and there needs to be another sailor neptune. I was talking to Ami about this and she told me that there is a way for two egg cells to be fused together and by doing so that could potentially create a baby."

Haruka's eyes widened at that and a pink blush tinted her cheeks. "So w-what you're saying is..."

Michiru nodded. "Hai. I need you to become pregnant so that there can be another sailor neptune."

"I don't know about this Michiru. I never wanted to get pregnant. Can't you get a surrogate?"

Michiru shook her head. "I would if I could but it wouldn't work. Since we're both sailor scouts, the egg cells would be more likely to successfully fuse with one of yours then with a normal humans. Onegai Haruka. Do it for our princess." she pleaded.

Haruka sighed. "Fine, I'll do it for our princess."

Michiru smiled and weakly wrapped her arms around Haruka's neck. "Arrigatou."

"Ashiteru Michiru."

"I love you too."

/

Two weeks later Haruka was waiting in the doctor's office, waiting for the results to come back from the pregnancy test.

The door opened and the doctor walked in with a clipboard in his hand. "Congratulations mrs. Tenou. You're going to be a mother."

"A-arigatou." Haruka replied as she blushed slightly.

"Would you like an ultrasound right now? You might not be able to see much but I know that it would make your wife happy to see a picture."

"Hai, I would like one if possible."

"Ok, then lie down on the cot over there." the doctor instructed and Haruka did as told.

He lifted her shirt up and placed some of the blue goo on her belly.

Then he took the transducer and put it on her stomach. An image appeared on the screen and the doctor smiled at Haruka. "Congratulations again. It appears as if you're having twins." he said.

Haruka's eyes widened. "T-wins?" she stuttered.

The doctor nodded in response. "Yep. See," he began as he pointed at the dots on the screen. "Baby A," he said pointing to one dot. "And baby B." he said pointing to the other.

"Wow." Haruka whispered, as she sat up wiping the goo off her belly.

"I'm guessing you'd like some pictures printed?"

"Hai."

The doctor then left the room leaving Haruka all by herself.

"So a chibi Neptune and a Chibi Uranus." she muttered to herself.

/

"Twins?" Michiru asked in surprise as she looked at the pictures from the ultrasound.

"Yep! A chibi Neptune and a chibi Uranus." Haruka said with a grin.

"Wow. How will you know which one is Uranus and which one is Neptune?"

Haruka shrugged. "Don't know. Guess I'll find out."

Michiru laughed gently at her before putting the pictures aside on her nightstand. "I wish I could meet them." she muttered as her smile turned to a frown.

"I know. I wish you could meet them too but you'll be there in spirit." Haruka said.

"Hai, and don't ever forget that. I'll always be with you." Michiru said as she grabbed her wife's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Haruka's eyes started to fill with tears but she blinked them away before they could fall. "Ashiteru Michiru." she said leaning down to give her hand a gentle kiss.

"I love you too."

/

About a week later, Haruka was at home sleeping when all of a sudden she was awoken from her sleep by the sound of the phone ringing.

She sat up tiredly rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She glanced over at the clock beside her bed. _1:49_ it read.

She sighed and reached over to pick up the phone. "Hello?" she said in a raspy tired voice.

"Is this Mrs. Tenou?" the voice, presumably a lady's voice, asked.

"Hai." she said.

"You need to come to the hospital right away,"

At that Haruka began to worry. "Is Michiru ok?" she asked trying to hold back the fear in her voice.

"Just get down to the hospital and we'll explain everything once you're there." the lady said and the line went dead.

She jumped out of bed and put on a pair of sweats as she was only in her tank and underwear, before she raced out the door and into her car.

She sped off to the hospital, hoping and praying that her lover was ok.

When she got there she quickly parked and ran inside and up to the clerk.

"Tenou Haruka." she said quickly to the nurse at the counter.

"Right this way." the lady said and lead her down the hall.

As she guessed she was lead down to Michiru's room where her wife was asleep.

"Is she ok?" Haruka asked the lady nervously.

"I'm afraid that Mrs. Tenou won't be able to live for another week." said a masculine voice.

Haruka spun around only to find herself face to face with the doctor who'd been looking after her and Michiru.

"Nani?!" Haruka yelled as she choked back her tears.

The doctor sighed and walked over to Michiru's bed. "Don't expect Michiru to live much longer. Spend as much time with her as you can before she passes because at this rate she may not live to see one more day."

Haruka began to cry as she walked over to her wife's bed. "No, no, no. This can't be happening." she whispered sadly as she reached a hand to touch her lover's face. Her skin was so cold to the touch and she had become so much thinner then she had already been.

"Michiru..." she whispered before breaking down and falling to the floor.

She heard the door close behind her and when she looked around she noticed that it was now only the two of them left in the room.

Sighing, she got up to her feet and laid herself down beside her wife. She wrapped her arms tightly around her and nuzzled her face into her shoulder. "Ashiteru Michiru." she whispered before falling asleep.

/

"Haruka..." a small voice croaked out, waking the blonde from her sleep.

She opened her eyes to see her wife looking up at her, in her arms. "Ohayo Michiru." she said softly.

"Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see you."

Michiru smiled gently up at her before weakly reaching up to give her a kiss on the lips.

"Ashiteru... Haruka..." she whispered before shutting her eyes and the sound of the heart rate monitor flatlining reached Haruka's ears.

Haruka's eyes widened and she began to tear up as she started to shake her wife. "Michiru, wake up! Michiru! Michiru! MICHIRU!" she screamed as tears came streaming down her cheeks.

That was the day that Haruka officially broke. When every single piece of the walls that she had built came crashing down. That was the day that she lost the love of her life and that was the day when her heart broke in two.


	2. Chapter 2

When Michiru died, Haruka fell into a dark depression. She wouldn't talk to anyone and all she would do is stay at home all by herself. The other scouts were only able to finally get a hold of her by inviting themselves over to her place.

"Hello!" Usagi shouted as she barged in through Haruka's front door. Thankfully she had known where Haruka kept her spare keys or else she'd still be outside.

Usagi and the other four girls walked in and sat down in the living room as they waited for Haruka to come down.

Eventually she came as she knew they were there and they wouldn't leave unless she came and talked to them.

"Haruka!" the five of them exclaimed when they saw her, running over to give her a hug from each of them.

"Hello." she said quietly, as she took turns hugging each girl.

"I heard about what happened Haruka." Ami said softly.

"Yeah, gomenasai."said Makoto.

"Daijoubu. You don't need to worry about me. Anyways, since you're here would you like some tea?" Haruka asked.

"Hai!" came the response from all five girls.

Haruka walked over to the kitchen and began to boil some water for the tea. She pulled out six mugs and sat them on the counter. When the water was done boiling, she put some tea bags in the cups and poured the hot water in. "Tea's ready!" she called out to the other girls.

They all came and grabbed a mug and then walked back over to the living room to sit and chat.

Everything was quiet and peaceful until they heard a knock on the door. "I'll get it." Haruka said as she got up from her spot on the couch.

She walked over to the door and pulled it open, and what greeted her at the door sure shocked her. There standing at the door was Seiya who was holding hands with Yaten whose hair was up in a loose bun and who had a big swollen belly, and then Taiki who was carrying what appeared to be a baby carrier with a sleeping baby laying in it. "What are you three doing here?" Haruka spat.

Seiya rolled her eyes. "Well hello to you too. And Odango invited us here."

"My name is not Odango!" Usagi yelled out from the living room to which Seiya chuckled in response.

"Anyways Haruka, can we not just put aside our past differences and be there for you?" Seiya asked.

Haruka sighed. "Fine, I guess so. But if you pull anything or try to flirt with Usagi, I will murder you."

"Uh why would I try and flirt with Odango? I'm married." Seiya said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"MARRIED?! TO WHO?" the other girls yelled in shock.

Seiya chuckled as she and the other starlights went and sat down on an empty couch. "I'm surprised that you havent figured it out."

"Is it Taiki?" asked Makoto.

"Nope, it's Yaten." she said as she leaned over to peck Yaten on the cheek.

"NANI?"

"Seiya and Yaten?"

"Who would've thought?"

"Is this a joke?"

"Why weren't we invited to the wedding?"

Seiya chuckled softly at all the comments. "About two years ago we both found out that we had feelings for each other and we got married last year. Now Yaten is 5 months pregnant with twins. A chibi sailor star fighter and a chibi sailor star healer."

"Wait, so then who is Taiki holding?"

"Oh this is my 1 month old daughter Misa."

All of the other girls, excluding Haruka, ran over to Taiki. "Awe, she's so cute! Can I hold her?" Usagi asked.

Taiki nodded. "Sure, just be gentle."

The girls took turns holding the baby, excluding Haruka of course who just kind of sat off to the side, slightly mad that the starlights of all people were here.

It was only once Minako was holding Misa that she started crying. "I don't think she likes me." Minako said sadly.

"No, no it's not that. I think she's just hungry." Taiki said as she took the baby from Minako. "Haruka?" she asked, catching the other girl's attention.

Haruka looked up. "Hai?"

"Is there any room that you could take me to so I can feed my daughter?"

"Hai, follow me." Haruka responded as she stood up.

She lead Taiki up to her bedroom and gestured for her to sit down on her bed. "Here, I hope this is fine."

"Hai. Arrigatou Haruka."Taiki said, offering the older girl a small smile.

"It's no problem." Haruka replied, returning the smile.

Taiki then pulled down her shirt so that her daughter could breastfeed.

Haruka silently observed the two of them. It was a very calm and peaceful scene. Taiki with her long reddish brown hair up in it's normal ponytail, while she wore a grey t-shirt and jeans, and then the little baby who looked just like her, with a headful of reddish brown hair and bright violet eyes. "Misa is beautiful. She looks just like you." Haruka found herself saying to the younger girl.

"Arrigatou." Taiki replied.

"Who's the dad if you don't mind me asking?"

"Um, I'd rather not say..."

"Fair enough."

"So, Usagi told me you're pregnant with twins. Are you nervous?" Taiki asked.

"Well honestly I am a little bit. Does giving birth hurt?"

"Honestly yes. But once you have your baby in your arms its all worth it. Besides you're having twins so you'll probably end up having a C-section." Taiki responded before thinking for a moment. "If you'd like, we were given a vacation for a month maximum, so if you'd like we could meet up and I could give you some advice."

"I'd like that. And maybe we could get to know each other more and try to understand each other since I know I was pretty harsh when we first met."

"Yeah, we were pretty harsh on you guys as well. Gomenasai."

"It's ok, we just didn't understand each other. But now I can see that you're not bad guys like I originally thought, although I still don't trust you 100% just yet."

"That's fair enough." Taiki said as she pulled her shirt back down to cover her breast.

"Do you want to go back downstairs now and rejoin the others?" Haruka asked.

Taiki nodded in response.

The two girls then left and walked back downstairs together where they found everyone looking at photographs from Seiya and Yaten's wedding. "Haruka," Usagi said, getting up and going over to the other blonde. "Look at these pictures!"

Haruka took the photo from Usagi and examined it. In the photo Seiya had her hair done up in a french braid and she was wearing a strapless white dress with a heart shaped neck line. The bodice of the dress was lace and then below the bodice was a plain white skirt that extended out to the sides just a little bit. She also had on a white choker and bright red lipstick. She was kissing Yaten on the cheek, who had her hair up in a loose bun, and was wearing a long lace white ball gown with a silver belt around her waist. On top of that she had on silver earrings and a silver choker, paired up with the same bright red lipstick that Seiya was wearing.

"Wow, you guys look beautiful in this." she said softly.

"Arrigatou." Yaten replied, blushing a little bit.

The nine girls wound up chatting for a few hours, Haruka and the three lights actually getting along for once.

It was only at about 4:00 that the three lights decided they should head out. "I think we'll be leaving for our hotel now. Thanks for inviting us Odango." Seiya said before grabbing Yaten's hand and walking out the door with her.

"So Taiki, how about we meet up tomorrow and go for milkshakes?" Haruka suggested.

Taiki smiled. "Sounds good to me. Ja." she said and then was out the door.

The other five girls simply stared in shock at Haruka.

"Nani?"she asked before heading upstairs to her bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3

Haruka's blue eyes fluttered open as she sat up in bed. Turning to look beside her, she found that Michiru still wasn't there.

She sighed before turning to look at her alarm clock.

 _8:43_ it read. She had agreed to meet up with Taiki today. Although she hadn't specified where they were meeting at, they both knew to meet at the local cafe, since that was the only place that actually sold good milkshakes.

She got up from the bed and made her way over to her bathroom where she stripped her pajamas off.

She got into the shower, and turned on the water to a boiling hot temperature. She relaxed slightly as the boiling water hit her shoulders and ran down her back. She felt slightly sad though when she realized that she was the only one in the shower and that Michiru wasn't there, looking up at her in her arms.

It had been five days now since her death and she still wasn't used to being alone.

Her vision started to become clouded but she blinked the oncoming tears away before they could fall. She had already cried enough lately and she didn't want to seem weaker then she already appeared to be. Even though all her walls were broken, she still somehow managed to try and keep everything bottled up inside.

Maybe it was because her walls were broken that she had called a truce with the starlights. She had no walls up to be able to be tough or mean. She felt weak and vulnerable.

Eventually she finished her shower and got out, wrapping a white towel around her body.

She went back to her room and put on a white t-shirt along with some ripped jeans and a black hoodie. She then went back to the bathroom to blow dry her hair and comb out the tangles.

After that she went back to her room to grab her keys and then she went to go put on her shoes.

She left the house and locked the door behind her before getting into her car.

She put the keys in the ignition and drove off to the cafe.

When she got there, she parked and walked inside, the little bell above the door jingling as she walked in.

She looked around the quiet and empty little cafe before spotting Taiki alone at a booth. Her hair was still in it's usual ponytail, and she had on a denim shirt along with a long black maxi skirt. She also had on her reading glasses and was reading some book, although Haruka couldn't tell what it was from where she was standing. In front of Taiki was a chocolate milkshake that looked like it hadn't been touched yet and another chocolate milkshake sat on the other end of the booth.

Haruka walked over to the booth and Taiki looked up at her. "Hello." Taiki greeted.

"Hi. What are you reading?" Haruka asked as she sat down on the other side of the booth.

"Oh, this? It's a book of poetry by Emily Dickinson. Ami lent it to me." Taiki said as she removed her glasses and put them aside. She took the book and stuck it into the little tote bag she had with her. "So, how are you holding up?" she asked.

Haruka sighed. "I don't know. I really miss her. It's weird not having her beside me. It's just not the same without her." she said sadly while she stirred the contents of her milkshake around with her straw.

"I understand. It'll take time before you can fully heal and that's alright. But you should know that Michiru would want you to be happy. She wouldn't want you to be so sad and depressed. She'd want you to be happy and live life."

Haruka sighed and took a sip from her milkshake. "Yeah, I guess you're right. But still, she was the love of my life and now she is gone." Haruka whispered sadly.

"Well you are allowed to feel sad about it but eventually you have to move on because it's not healthy to be upset about it for the rest of your life. Trust me, I went through a really bad break up less then a year ago and it still hurts but I try not to let it affect me."

Haruka looked up. "Was he the father of Misa?"

Taiki nodded. "Hai. But I prefer not to call him that term. More like sperm donor." she said with a hint of bitterness in her voice.

"Why?"

Taiki sighed. "It's really personal, I might tell you some other time."

"That is understandable. Anyways, where is Misa?"

"Oh, Seiya and Yaten are watching her. But I have to pick her up in a little bit since those two are going on a date tonight."

"I never would have imagined Seiya and Yaten as a couple."

Taiki laughed slightly at that. "I think everyone in the palace saw it coming. Even though they're such an odd pair, it works."

"Yeah, come to think of it, they do make a good couple." Haruka said, trying to hold back her own laughter.

"So, you wanted pregnancy advice, correct?"

"Hai."

"What would you like to know?"

"I don't know. Like what all should I expect to happen?"

"Have you been experiencing morning sickness at all lately?"

"Not really. A couple times I have but not much."

"That's odd since most women get morning sickness every day but I guess you're one of the lucky ones. Any weird cravings?"

"Um, not really except for I've been eating a lot of pickles and ice cream lately." Haruka muttered as her cheeks turned slightly red.

Taiki laughed. "It's ok. I craved the same thing when I was pregnant with Misa."

"Really?" Haruka asked.

Taiki nodded.

Haruka laughed. "I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this."

"Ok, so one of the next symptoms is fatigue."

Haruka nodded. "I've definitely been very fatigued lately."

"Ok, so what about incresed urination?"

"Um, yes." Haruka muttered in response.

"Then one of the other ones at this stage is having tender swollen breasts."

Haruka's face turned bright red and she looked away.

Taiki laughed. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Screw off." Haruka muttered from across the table.

"Ah, mood swings. Another common symptom. You're almost a month pregnant right?"

Haruka nodded. "Tomorrow I'll be a month exact."

"Ok, so then you should only have about two more months of these symptoms and hopefully the nausea and mood swings should be gone by then. Have you thought of any baby names yet?"

Haruka shook her head. "Not yet, since I'm only a month along. Besides with Michiru having had only a month to live, I was more preoccupied with her then with my pregnancy."

"Fair enough. But I guess it makes it slightly easier since it's a for sure thing that they're both girls."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. How will I be able to tell which is Uranus and which is Neptune?"

"Well, I read somewhere that when a scout is born the planetary symbol will glow on their forehead in the first few moments of life since they'll more then likely be distressed and screaming. You should probably ask Mamoru or Ami if they can do the surgery, just because you don't want some normal doctor panicking when a baby is pulled out with the symbol of Uranus or Neptune glowing on their forehead."

Haruka laughed. "I'll ask them, but I'm not sure if they are qualified to perform surgeries or not."

"Well, if you're having a C-section, which will more then likely be the case, then they could pull the baby out while the actual surgeons do the cutting and stitching."

"Well, I'll ask them about it. Do C-sections hurt?"

"Yes and no. You have to have an epidural first and some other anesthetics but once the surgery is happening you should only feel a slight pressure on your stomach although you'll probably be sore after the anesthetics wear off."

"Makes sense." Haruka muttered before taking another sip of her milkshake.

"If you'd like I have a book about pregnancy that I have back at the hotel. I could bring it to you when I have the chance if you're interested."

"Sure, it would probably help a lot."

Taiki smiled slightly before turning to look at the clock. "I should probably be going to pick up Misa now. But we can meet up again some other time if you'd like."

"Sure, I'd like that." Haruka replied returning the smile before standing up.

Taiki stood up also and hugged Haruka gently. Haruka blushed when she felt the younger girl wrap her arms around her. She was surprised at her actions but somehow she didn't feel mad or disgusted like she would have thought she'd feel. Instead she wrapped her arms around Taiki in return.

Taiki herself didn't even expect to hug Haruka, it just happened. She wasn't really thinking and instead of leaving right away she had decided to give the blonde a hug, partially out of sympathy but maybe it was also partially out of kindness?

The two let go of each other and separated. "Ja!" Haruka said and exited the cafe with a small smile lingering on her face.


	4. Chapter 4

_There standing in the park was Michiru, her long blue hair blowing in the wind, while she played her violin._

 _It was a beautiful sight with all the cherry blossom trees and then the most beautiful girl in the midst of it all, playing a beautiful song._

 _Haruka walked over to the blue haired girl and wrapped her arms around her waist. "I loved the song Michiru. You were amazing."_

 _The other girl had stopped playing now and had turned herself so that she was facing the blonde, Haruka's hands now resting on the small of her back. "Arigatou Haruka." she said sweetly before giving the blonde a peck on the cheek._

 _Haruka smiled softly at the younger girl. "Ashiteru." she whispered._

 _Michiru smiled back before pecking her on the lips. "I love you too."_

 _/_

Haruka shot up in bed, tears forming in her eyes. "It was only a dream..." she whispered, trying to hold back her tears.

Tears fell down her cheeks and she tried to wipe them away but they kept falling faster and faster. "Michiru, I miss you." she whispered sadly before burying her face in her hands.

She sobbed for a few minutes before a wave of nausea hit her. She got up from her bed and ran to her washroom, dropping on her knees in front of the toilet and puking out the contents of her stomach.

She stood up tiredly and flushed it down the drain before deciding to brush her teeth.

While she brushed, she took in her appearance. Pale skin, dark bags under her eyes which were red and bloodshot, tear streaks running down her cheeks. Haruka did not look good.

Haruka sighed and spat out the toothpaste before deciding to do something she hadn't done for a while.

She went back to her room and put on a black tank top and some black yoga pants. Then she went back to her washroom and combed her hair until it was neat and tidy.

Then she grabbed her runners and left her house.

She jogged down the street, adrenaline coursing through her veins as she ran, the wind gently tousling her hair.

She ran for a long time, not even bothering to check where she was and completely ignoring her aching back.

Eventually she stopped, the aching pain in her back bothering her too much making her unable to continue.

When she looked up from where she was standing, tears flooded her eyes.

She was standing at the same racing track where she had first met Michiru. In fact she could point out the exact spot where they had both met.

Haruka knew that it wasn't some crazy coincidence that she had unconsciously ran here. She knew she had been supposed to come here.

So ignoring her aching back once more, she walked over to the track and began to run laps.

While she ran she felt as if Michiru were there beside her, running with her keeping the same speed and tempo.

Haruka kept running for a bit before a voice startled her. "Haruka!"

Startled, Haruka fell to the ground landing with a loud thud.

She heard the person run over to her and bend down beside her."Haruka, daijoubu desu ka?"

Haruka looked up and was greeted by the sight of shining purple eyes. "Hello Taiki." she said as she got up onto her feet so she could look at Taiki. The younger girl was wearing a long violet maxi skirt, and a sleeveless white ruffle top along with a jean jacket. Her hair was down and had been curled slightly, and she had a pale pink lip gloss on her lips."Daijoubu."

Taiki smiled at her. "That's good."

"Why are you here?"

"Oh, I wanted to give this to you." Taiki said before handing her a book.

Haruka looked down at it and noticed that it was the pregnancy book Taiki had been talking about the previous day.

"Arigatou, but how'd you know to find me here?" she asked.

"Oh, I called up Usagi and she said that if you weren't at home then you might be here."

"Arigatou. So where's Seiya and Yaten?"

"Oh those two? They're over there somewhere with Misa."

"Seiya!" came an irritated yell from somewhere in the distance.

Taiki laughed. "It sounds like those two are arguing again. Anyways, would you like to join us for lunch? We were just on our way to that little ltailan restaurant that everyone's been talking about."

"I don't know. I don't have any money on me."

"Don't worry about it. We can pay for your meal."

"You don't have to do that."

"Don't worry it's our treat. Besides we still have a ton of money left over from our days as idols." Taiki said with a slight wink.

"Ok, I'll come. Arigatou."

Taiki smiled at her. "It's no problem. Now we should probably go catch up with those idiots and see what they're up to."

Haruka laughed. "That's probably a good idea."

They walked over to the other side of the track where an irritated Yaten was standing along with a laughing Seiya who was holding the baby carrier. Yaten was wearing a short lime green dress and silver flats with her hair up in it's normal ponytail, while Seiya had on a black tank top along with a pair of ripped skinny jeans, while she had her raven black hair loose from it's ponytail.

"What's all the screaming about?" Taiki asked.

"Seiya was making fun of my height again!" Yaten pouted.

Taiki sighed. "Really? You're both 21 and you're married. Grow up you two!"

"I don't get why it's such a big deal Yaten." Seiya said calmly.

"I hate you..." Yaten muttered under her breath.

"I heard that Yaten." Seiya said, walking over to the silver haired girl. "And you know that's not true." she said as she wrapped her arms around her wife's waist.

"Shut up..." the older girl muttered as her cheeks flushed red.

Seiya smirked and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

Haruka groaned. "Ok, can we quit with the cheesy stuff and just go already?"

"I agree with Haruka." said Yaten.

"You're no fun Yaten." Seiya pouted.

"Ok, let's go." Taiki said.

The four of them got into the little rental car that the starlights had rented and buckled themselves in.

"Everyone all buckled in?" Seiya asked from the driver's seat.

"You don't need to ask that Seiya." Yaten muttered from the passenger seat.

"Yaten I love you but can you please shut up?"

Yaten rolled her eyes. "Fine. I love you too." she muttered.

They drove off to the restaurant and once they got there, they parked and went inside.

They got a booth and sat down, Seiya, Taiki and Misa on one side, and Yaten and Haruka on the other.

"Here are your menus." the waitress said as she passed out four menus to each women.

"Arigatou." they all said in unison.

They read through the menus and eventually ordered. Seiya got a hamburger, Yaten got spaghetti, Taiki a ceaser salad, and Haruka a bowl of tomato soup.

The afternoon went by quickly and all four girls had a wonderful time with all of them getting along.

"Thank you again Taiki." Haruka said, when it was time to leave.

Taiki smiled at her. "Like I said it's no problem."

"Also, thanks for being nice to me. It means a lot. I know we had a rocky start but your support has really helped me."

"Again, it's no problem. We may have had our issues in the beginning but that was four years ago and besides now you need all the support you can get."

"Yeah..."

Taiki reached into her jean pocket and grabbed a small notebook and a pen. She quickly scribbled something down on one of the pages then tore it out and handed it to Haruka.

"Here. This is the number for the hotel we're staying at. Call if you need anything at all or even if you just want to talk."

"Arigatou Taiki. Can I see your notebook?"

Taiki nodded and handed it and her pen to Haruka.

The blonde wrote something and then handed it back to Taiki. "Here. I wrote down my phone number for you. Just in case you miss my call or want to chat."

"Arigatou Haruka." Taiki said before giving the blonde a hug.

Haruka smiled and wrapped her arms around the brunette. For some reason, holding Taiki felt nice. She didn't know why but Taiki made her feel happy and calm.

"Ja!" Taiki said once they pulled apart and left to go join up with the other starlights and her daughter.

"Ja..." Haruka whispered quietly after Taiki had left.


	5. Chapter 5

_"Haruka..." a sweet voice called out from the darkness._

 _Haruka spun around, trying to find the source of the voice. "Nani?" she asked, as she searched for the voice._

 _"Over here." the gentle voice called out again._

 _"Where?" Haruka asked, as she frantically searched all around her, trying to find the source of the mysterious voice._

 _She heard a slight giggle and she looked up only to be met by a pair of beautiful blue eyes looking up at her. "In front of you silly." She said giggling, her bell like voice resonating around her._

 _Haruka gasped and her eyes began to water. "Michiru?" She asked hopefully._

 _The woman stepped closer, until Haruka could almost make out her face. "Took you long enough." she said, her face becoming visible._

 _"Michiru." Haruka croaked out, as tears began to fall and she stepped closer, her arms wrapping tightly around her waist._

 _"I missed you." the aqua haired woman said sweetly._

 _"You have no idea how much I've missed you." Haruka whispered as more tears fell._

 _"Ashiteru." Michiru said softly, as she pulled away slightly so that she was still in her arms but now her face was visible._

 _"I love you too."_

/

Haruka shot up in her bed, and screamed as tears poured down her cheeks. "Michiru! I miss you!" she yelled.

She pulled her knees up to her face and began to rock back and forth as she cried, her whole body shaking as she cried.

She took her head away from her knees and looked at her clock. It was already midnight.

Then she spotted a small piece of paper in front of it. She picked it up and examined it, the name _Taiki_ written in beautiful handwriting and then the phone number for the hotel underneath that.

She grabbed her phone and quickly dialed the number, trying to stop crying so she could speak.

"Hello?" came a man's voice. "Who are you trying to reach?"

"Room 147."

"Ok, I'll connect you right away." the man said and then there was silence.

Haruka waited, her body shaking the whole time. Finally after what felt like forever a voice spoke. "Moshi moshi?" came the deep yet feminine voice.

"Hey Taiki. It's Haruka. Do you think you can come over right now?" she asked quietly.

There was silence for a few seconds before Taiki spoke again. "Yeah, I can do that for you. Is it ok if I bring Misa with me?"

"Hai, I just really need someone right now."

"Bad dream?"

"Hai."

"I'll be over in about 20 minutes. Ja."

"Ja." Haruka whispered before hanging up.

In a way Haruka wondered how she'd gotten so close to Taiki. They'd never gotten along 4 years ago but now they were actually friends. Maybe Haruka had only become close to her because she needed someone but maybe Taiki wasn't that bad of a person. Although Taiki could be kind of snobbish and a major bookworm, she was actually really kind and caring. She didn't have a lot to say but somehow being near her was comforting.

Haruka sighed and got up, going downstairs to her kitchen to make herself a cup of tea.

She began to boil the water and got a mug ready for herself. When the water was done boiling she poured it into her cup with her tea bag and took a sip, savoring the boiling hot liquid as it trickled down her throat, letting it relax her.

She sat down on her couch with her tea in hands as she waited.

She kind of wondered why she never called Setsuna or Hotaru. With Setsuna she always felt that things were more serious with her. Although she was nice she just never really felt like she could talk to her about these kind of things. And Hotaru was like her daughter. She didn't want to bother her with these kind of issues.

And then there were the inner senshi. Yes they were all nice but she felt as if there was something she was missing with them.

With Taiki she felt open and free. She felt that she could say whatever was on her mind and Taiki would just sit and listen. Not judging her or telling her how to live her life. Just listening and trying to help.

She sat still on the couch for a while, just taking the occasional sip from her drink.

Finally after what felt like forever she heard a knock on her door.

She set her drink down and walked over to the door. She opened it and there was Taiki, her reddish brown hair tangled in knots, violet pajamas, a baby carrier carrying a sleeping Misa and a fairly decent size bag.

"Hi." She greeted quietly, as Taiki shut the door and put her stuff down.

The younger girl walked over to her and wrapped her arms around Haruka in a tight embrace.

Haruka felt her eyes welling up with tears and she returned the embrace, letting her tears fall and letting out a soft sob.

She heard Taiki let out a soft sigh, and felt her tighten the hug while she gently rubbed her back.

Haruka felt slightly ashamed. She was crying. And in front of a person. And that person was Taiki. Everything about the situation felt so wrong, but if it was so wrong then why was there a voice in her head telling her that this was right?

The two women continued to hug for a good period of time before they pulled apart. "So, do you want to tell me what happened?" Taiki asked softly, as she picked Misa up from her carrier, cradling her in her arms.

Haruka sighed and sat down on her couch. "I had a dream..."

"About Michiru?" Taiki asked, as she sat down beside her with Misa who was fast asleep in her arms.

"Hai."

"What happened in the dream?"

"I heard someone calling out to me but I couldn't tell who it was or where they were. Then Michiru appeared and she began to tell me how she missed me and that she loved me. Then I woke up screaming and crying."

"I understand. It's still hard for you to deal with her loss and that is totally normal. It may not be a good feeling but still you're grieving and this the first step of the healing process."

"Yeah I know but it just feels like I'll never get over her."

"Maybe you won't but that's ok. Just as long as you're not depressed and upset about it for the rest of your life."

"Yeah..." Haruka said quietly before letting out a small yawn.

"Are you tired? You should probably get some sleep."

Haruka yawned again. "Yeah, I guess you're right." she muttered.

"Well you should go to bed then and I'll sleep on the couch."

"No, I can't let you sleep on the couch."

"Nani? I'm fine with sleeping on the couch."

Haruka's expression grew serious. "No, I mean it. I don't want you sleeping on the couch. You can sleep in my room."

"But if Misa wakes up in the middle of the n-"

"I don't care. I'm fine if she wakes me up but I'm a pretty heavy sleeper anyways. So come on, just take your stuff to my room."

Taiki sighed. "You're really stubborn, you know that right? But ok, I'll sleep in your room if you insist."

"Good, now let me help carry your stuff." Haruka said as she picked up Taiki's bags and carried them to her room.

Taiki followed up the stairs with Misa still sleeping in her arms.

"Ok, so what do you have in here?" Haruka asked as she put the bag down.

"Well I have a small portable crib that I have to set up for Misa."

"Ok, I'll set it up for you."

Haruka set up the crib beside her bed and turned to Taiki. "Done."

All of a sudden Misa's eyes fluttered open and she began to cry. "I think she's hungry." Taiki whispered. "You don't mind if I feed her in front of you right?"

"No, I don't mind. Besides you've done it before and it's a natural thing."

Taiki gave her a small smile. "Arigatou." she whispered, before pulling her shirt up so that her daughter could breastfeed.

Haruka sat down on the opposite side of the bed, watching the mother and daughter together.

It was a beautiful picture. Taiki was so elegant and mature, and then there was this little tiny baby cradled in her arms.

Eventually Misa was done drinking and then Taiki began to rock her slowly in her arms. She began to hum softly as she cradled her close to her chest. After a few minutes Misa's eyes closed and she fell asleep.

Taiki smiled and kissed her on the forehead. "Sweet dreams Misa." she whispered as she gently placed her in her crib.

"So, where'd you come up with the name Misa?" Haruka asked quietly as Taiki sat next to her on the bed.

"Well, back in the days when we were the three lights and were searching for our princess here on earth, I met a little girl. Her name was Misa and she was really really sick. She loved the three lights and Ami took me to meet her. During that time I was beginning to think we'd never find our princess. And you see Misa had been drawing a picture but she didn't want to show anyone until she finished it. Not long after I met her, she began to go downhill fast. I got to see her again and she was too weak to finish her drawing but she showed me it anyways. It was a picture of our princess. She said that whenever we sang she saw her in her head but at the time she hadn't been seeing her anymore."

"Wow..." Haruka whispered.

Taiki nodded. "I know. But she gave me strength to continue on and eventually she slowly started getting better. I think about her a lot. So I wanted to name my daughter after her."

"What's her full name then?"

"Misa Ayana Kou."

"That's a beautiful name."

"Hai, I love the name too." the brunette whispered.

"Do you want to go to sleep now?" Haruka asked quietly.

"Ok."

Haruka smiled and turned off the light beside her. "Good night Taiki." she whispered as she laid down under her blankets.

"Good night Haruka."

/

When Haruka woke up, she was slightly shocked to see someone sleeping beside her.

But when she realized it was only Taiki, her surprise went away.

The auburn haired girl looked so peaceful when she was sleeping. She had a small smile on her face and she looked so unguarded. Haruka smiled softly at her.

All of a sudden, violet eyes fluttered open to look at her.

"Ohayo Taiki."

Taiki sat up in bed, rubbing her forehead. "Ohayo Haruka." she mumbled.

"Is Misa still asleep?"

Taiki looked over to where the crib was and let out a small sigh. "Hai."

"I didn't hear her at all last night. Is she ok?"

"Hai, you probably just slept through her crying is all."

"Oh. Well do you want me to go make breakfast then?"

"Actually I was thinking you could go back to sleep and I could make you breakfast." Taiki said with a small grin.

"Nani?"

"Don't ask questions. I want to do this for you."

The blonde smiled at her. "Arigatou Taiki."

"It's no problem. Now get some rest and I'll let you know when breakfast is done."

Haruka nodded wordlessly and laid back down, as her friend left her room. Her eyes shut immediately and she instantly fell asleep.

/

 _"Haruka?" a voice called out._

 _The blonde clenched her hands into fists and shut her eyes. "Michiru, if it's you I don't want to see you. It's too painful to see you!" she yelled, biting back her tears._

 _"Who said anything about Michiru?" came the deep yet feminine voice._

 _"What do you mean?" Haruka asked, as she felt two arms wrap around her neck._

 _She tried to search for a face in front of her but the pitch blackness covered the face of whoever was in front of her._

 _"You're silly." the voice whispered softly._

 _"W-who are you?" Haruka asked, almost afraid to know the answer._

 _"Me?" the voice asked._

 _Haruka nodded._

 _She heard a laugh and the next thing she knew a pair of lips were on hers, kissing her gently before quickly pulling away._

 _"I'll tell you eventually." came the reply, and as the person began to walk away, Haruka was able to make out a pair of eyes._

 _And she could've sworn that they were purple eyes._


	6. Chapter 6

"Haruka!"

The blonde shot straight up in bed when she heard that voice. It sounded like the voice from her dream. She groaned and rubbed her head before opening her eyes to see who was had called her name. In front of her stood Taiki, wearing a black sun dress with a jean jacket and black flats, her auburn hair tied up into a bun at the back of her head. Cradled in her arms was a sleeping Misa who was dressed in a little white dress. "Nani Taiki?" Haruka asked sleepily as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Breakfast is ready." Taiki said calmly.

"Oh. Arigatou."

Taiki smiled at her. "It's no problem." she said, her purple eyes glinting with happiness. Wait, purple? Haruka's eyes widened. Could the mysterious person in her dream be Taiki?

She ignored her thoughts and pushed back her blankets as she stood up. "So, what'd you make?" she asked as she walked over to her friend.

"Pancakes." the other girl responded before leaving her room.

Haruka followed suit and walked over to her kitchen where she found Taiki carrying a large plate of pancakes over to her table. She had also set out some syrup, some blueberries, some strawberries, some plates and cutlery and then beside both plates was a tall glass of orange juice.

"Sugoi!" Haruka exclaimed as she turned to Taiki. "You did all this by yourself?"

Taiki nodded and a small smile formed on her lips. "Hai." she responded.

"How? I would never be able to do this much cooking. Michiru always did all the cooking since I was so terrible at it." the blonde said, as she sat down on a chair at the table.

Taiki grinned and let out a small laugh. "Baking is a science and in case you didn't know, I happen to be really good at science." she said, as she placed Misa in her carrier before taking a seat at the opposite end of the table.

"Arigatou."

"It's no problem, now let's eat." Taiki replied, as she grabbed a pancake and placed it on her plate.

Haruka did the same and the two girls ate in silence. The whole time though, there was a war going on in Haruka's brain. She was certain it had been Taiki who was the mysterious girl in her dream. After all who else did she know who had purple eyes and a deep voice? But if it was Taiki then why? She only loved Michiru and thats how it always would be. She didn't want to fall in love again and especially not with Taiki. Things would be too complicated. But if she was so against it then why was her mind telling her it was ok?

She lightly shook her head at the thought and continued to eat her pancake.

The two girls finally finished and Taiki turned her head to look at the clock. "I should probably be going now." she said, standing up from her chair and taking her plate to the kitchen sink.

"Ok." Haruka said. "Arigatou for coming over."

Taiki turned around and walked back over to her. "Like I said before, it's no problem. You don't have to thank me." she said sweetly.

"Yeah I know but I guess I just feel the need to constantly thank you."

Taiki let out a small laugh. "You don't have to do that but if you really feel the need to then go ahead. Anyways I really should be going now. Ja!" she said before quickly hugging Haruka.

Haruka hugged back slightly and then the younger girl pulled away. She picked up the baby carrier and headed towards the door. "Ja!" Haruka called out as Taiki opened the door.

Taiki turned around and flashed a small smile at her before leaving, the door shutting softly behind her.

Haruka sighed when she left. She felt surprisingly empty and lonely. She walked over to her phone and dialed a number. She held the phone up to her ear, desperately waiting for a response.

"Moshi moshi?"

Haruka breathed a small sigh of relief. "Hey Setsuna. Are you free right now?"

"Hai, whats up?"

"Can we meet up at the local coffee shop in about 20 minutes? I have a lot on my mind right now and I need some advice."

/

Haruka sat in an empty booth at the coffee shop, frequently checking the clock on the wall next to her. She tapped her foot impatiently on the floor and ran a hand through her messy blonde hair. She'd put on a white tank top and black jeans before leaving to come here. She was actually 5 minutes early but she didn't care.

After what felt like an eternity the bell above the door rang and in walked Setsuna, her dark green hair resting just above her shoulders, wearing a purple mini dress along with black flats and some skin tone colored make up.

She walked over to the booth and sat down on the other side. "Hello Haruka." she greeted softly.

"Hey." Haruka replied.

"How have you been?"

Haruka sighed. "I've been alright, I guess. You?"

"Good. I actually just got engaged last week."

"Nani? I didn't know you were dating anyone!"

Setsuna chuckled softly. "We kept our relationship private."

"Who is it?"

"His name is Michael. You wouldn't know him. I met him on a trip in the United States. He gave me his number and we began dating. We've been dating for 2 years now. 2 weeks ago I went out to visit him and he proposed."

"Awe that's sweet. Where's the ring?"

Setsuna stuck out her hand so Haruka could see. On her ring finger there was a ring with a gold band and on top of that was a small diamond encircled by smaller diamonds.

"That's really nice!" Haruka exclaimed as the older girl pulled her hand back. "It must of cost him a fortune."

The green haired girl laughed. "He said it wasn't that expensive but I don't quite believe him." she said softly. "Anyways, you said you needed advice."

Haruka nodded. "Hai."

"What's the problem?"

"Well I've been struggling a lot lately since Michiru died and it's been really hard on me." she began.

Setsuna nodded. "Go on."

Haruka took a deep breath before continuing. "And now I think I may have feelings for someone who I really shouldn't have feelings for and I'm really confused since I thought I only loved Michiru and that she was my one and only. Plus it's only been slightly over a week."

"Who is this person?"

Haruka cast her gaze towards the ground. "I'd rather not say." she mumbled.

"It's a girl, I'm presuming?"

The blonde on the other side of the booth rolled her eyes. "Duh." she muttered.

"Is it one of the other scouts?"

"No."

"Is it someone I would know?"

Haruka didn't answer and simply clenched her hands into fists.

"I'll take that as a yes. Is she just a regular person or some kind of scout like us?"

"Scout..." Haruka whispered so quiet it was barely audible, hoping the other girl wouldn't hear her.

"Ahh so she is a scout."

"Damn it!" Haruka yelled. "You weren't supposed to hear that!"

"It's ok Haruka, calm down. Is she one of the starlights?"

Haruka's cheeks instantly turned red and she began to get up to leave.

"Sit down!" Setsuna demanded and the younger girl did as told. "Seiya?" she guessed.

Haruka snorted. "Hell no." she muttered.

"It's Taiki isn't it?"

Tears began to blur Haruka's vision when she heard the name. She began to desperately wipe at her eyes, trying to get rid of her tears. These feelings, they were so confusing and they hurt. First she loses Michiru and barely a week later she has feelings for someone else.

"Haruka, it's ok. Don't cry. Yes, I know Michiru just died and you're still getting over her but she'd want you to be happy."

"You don't understand!" Haruka yelled as she stood up. "My wife just died! My fucking soulmate! And now all of a sudden I have feelings for a girl who'll surely reject me and who lives on another fucking planet! You don't understand!" she screamed, gaining the attention of everyone in the cafe.

"Haruka-"

"No, I'm done! I'm leaving!" she yelled as she stormed out of the cafe, tears burning her eyes.

"Mood swings..." Setsuna muttered to herself.

Haruka ran to her car, getting in and slamming the door shut. Tears began to fall from her eyes but she didn't care anymore. All she wanted was to get that voice out of her head. She wanted Michiru back and she sure as hell did not want to fall in love with Taiki.


	7. Chapter 7

Haruka stared at the ground, avoiding everyone's gaze so that way no one would see the tears forming in her eyes.

Today was Michiru's funeral. Two weeks had passed already since she had died. Her casket was closed and was resting on a mound of dirt. Michiru's father was standing beside her casket, giving a speech about his daughter's life or at least what he knew of her life. His blue eyes sparkled with unshed tears, and his voice was loud and held no emotion but Haruka could feel the sadness radiating off of him.

Beside Haruka stood the other sailor scouts. Usagi, Ami, Rei, Makoto, Minako, Hotaru, Setsuna. They all were here. Amongst them were some of Michiru's family who had come out to express their grief. And on the other side from them were the starlights. Seiya, Yaten and Taiki.

Haruka's hands unconsciously clenched into fists as she looked at the second oldest starlight. She was dressed in a black dress that fell to her knees, and had long lace sleeves that went down to her wrists. Around her neck she wore a plain black choker and her auburn hair was done up into a loose bun. She had on black high heels and a touch of makeup on her face. In her arms was a sleeping Misa who wore a tiny black dress. Taiki looked beautiful. Haruka was in pain. She didn't want to fall for Taiki. It had been only two weeks since Michiru had died and already she had feelings for another woman. But it was probably just hormones and the grief in her head talking. Taiki was just her friend and she was ok with that.

The blonde let out a small breath of relief and allowed her body to relax. _That's right._ she thought. _Taiki is only my friend. Nothing more, nothing less._

"I would now like to call up my daughter's wife Haruka to give a speech about her life." Michiru's dad spoke, catching the blonde's attention.

She lifted her head, and took a deep breath in, wiping away her tears quickly. She walked up to the casket and her father in law quickly patted her on the back. "Michiru was a lot of things." Haruka began, her voice shaky as she spoke. "She was beautiful, courageous, talented, caring, kind, loving. The list goes on. She was a lot of things that I am not and she constantly inspired me to be a better person."

Tears began to fill her eyes again but she blinked them away. "It's hard to know that she's not here." she said as tears dripped down her cheeks. "But I- but I-but I" she began to stutter and soon she could no longer speak. She cast her gaze to the ground and quickly walked off, not wanting anyone to see her cry anymore.

She walked past her friends and family, not even opening her eyes once to see where she was going. Eventually she opened her eyes and spotted a bench behind her. She sat down and immediately pulled her hands up to her face. She began to sob and she could hardly breath. "Michiru." She choked out between sobs.

She sat like that for a while before she felt a hand on her shoulder. She pulled her hands away and was greeted by bright purple eyes staring down at her. Taiki's lips were centered in a frown and her eyes held a look of concern and worry. "Haruka daijoubu?" She asked quietly as she sat down beside her friend.

Haruka nodded and quickly wiped away her tears. "Hai." She whispered, forcing a fake smile onto her face.

Taiki frowned and wrapped her arms around the blonde, resting her head on her shoulder as she hugged her tightly. "No you're not. And that's ok." she said softly.

Haruka's vision grew blurry and the tears began to fall once more as she wrapped her arms around Taiki's waist. Memories of her and Michiru filled her mind. The sound of her laugh. The way she played the violin so perfectly. The sound of her sneezes when she was sick. The sound of her heart beating at a constantly slow and steady space. "I miss her." Haruka croaked out.

The younger girl sighed and began to rub her back softly. "I know you do. I know you do." She whispered soothingly.

"I miss her voice, her laugh, the sound of her heartbeat, her smiles, her hugs, her pouty face." Haruka began but her voice caught in her throat and she went quiet. She took a shaky breath in and manged to force out the word "everything." before she was overtaken by her sobs.

The two stayed there like that for a long time, Taiki rubbing the blonde's back while she cried.

Eventually Haruka pulled away and wiped her tears away. "Arigatou Taiki."

"For what?"

Haruka smiled softly at the auburn haired starlight. "Everything." She whispered. "For being there for me, for coming today, for the advice, coming over when I was upset, just everything." she finished quietly.

"It's no problem." Taiki replied quietly, giving the other girl a gentle smile.

The two girls sat quietly on the bench together for a few minutes, a peaceful silence hanging in the air. Taiki was the one to finally break the silence between them. "Do you want to go visit her grave now?" She asked.

Haruka nodded softly in response.

Taiki stood up and extended her hand out to Haruka, a small smile lingering on her face. "Let's go." she said softly.

Haruka looked up and grabbed the other girl's hand, standing up as she did so. The two walked over to the spot where Michiru's casket had been buried. Everyone had left already and it was just the two of them standing there. On the mount of dirt covering the casket there were bouquets of flowers, a teddy bear and even a couple framed pictures of the blue haired beauty.

Tears filled Haruka's eyes as she picked up one of the photos. It was from their wedding day. Michiru was the only one standing in the picture but she looked gorgeous. Her dress was a strapless long white a line dress with heart neckline. The top and bottom of the dress were lace and she had a small jeweled white belt around her waist. She had on a wig the same color as what she'd had before which had been curled and a single white rose pinned her bangs to the side. In her hands she held a small bouquet of red roses and her eyes still held the same amount of joy that they'd held before she knew about her cancer.

"Ashiteru Michiriu." Haruka whispered sadly as she put the picture back down.

"You're really strong, you know that right?" Taiki asked quietly as she put a hand on the older girl's shoulder.

Haruka nodded meekly. "It's because of Michiru that I'm strong. She was always a fighter. She was tough emotionally and physically."

"You're tough too."

"I know."

The two stood together in silence for a couple of minutes before a voice interrupted them. "Taiki!" The two women spun around to see Seiya running for them. She had on a black jacket over top of a black shirt with black dress pants. Her hair was up in its normal ponytail and bounced up and down as she ran. "Lets go!" she shouted.

Taiki sighed and turned back to Haruka. "I guess I should go."

"Thats fine. Thanks for coming."

Taiki smiled. "Its no problem." she replied as she leaned in quickly planting her lips on Haruka's cheek before pulling away.

Haruka blushed instantly and her mind started racing. _She's just a friend. Just a friend. Just a friend. Just a friend! JUST A FRIEND!_

"Ja!" Taiki called out, snapping Haruka out of her trance.

"Ja." she replied meekly as she watched Taiki run over to Seiya.

As she watched the auburn haired girl run the only thought running through her mind was Taiki's lips on her cheek. "Damn it!" she shouted as she fell down to her knees on the ground, one hand on the cheek the starlight had touched.


	8. Chapter 8

**Authors note: Trigger warning: mentions of eating disorders. Thanks for reading and sorry for the short chapter :)**

Haruka sat quietly on her living room couch, quickly scanning the pages of the pregnancy book Taiki had given her. The current page she was on was talking about pregnancy weight gain and how much a typical pregnant lady would gain.

The blonde groaned and shut the book. She looked down at her stomach and imagined it swelling up like a balloon. The thought made her cringe. She had always been slightly obsessive about her weight and was constantly exercising to try and keep her figure slim. The idea of gaining weight was borderline terrifying for her.

"Screw it." she mumbled, getting up from her couch. "I'm going to go for a run." she muttered before walking upstairs.

She quickly changed into a gray tank top and some black sweats before putting on her running shoes and racing out the door.

It was slightly cold outside but Haruka didn't mind. Haruka just loved to run no matter what the temperature. She ran for a little bit until a sharp pain in her back made her abruptly stop.

She bent over, taking deep breaths to try and get rid of the pain. All of a sudden she heard a slight giggle which caused her to look up. She looked around before she noticed a figure sitting on a bench, looking at her baby in a little baby carrier. She could make out a long brown pony tail and she could make out the low voice of the woman.

"Taiki!" she found herself calling out as she rushed over to the girl.

Taiki looked up just before she felt a pair of arms tackle her. "Hello Haruka." she said quietly as she hugged the girl back.

The blonde pulled away and bent down beside the baby carrier. "Hello Misa-chan." she whispered as she stroked the baby's hair. The tiny starlight let out a small giggle and Haruka smiled.

"So what brings you here?" Taiki asked as Haruka sat down on the other side of the baby carrier.

"Oh well I was reading the book you lent me and I read the part about pregnancy weight gain and I've always been kind of obsessive about my weight so I decided to go for a run."

The brunette nodded. "Ah I see. I've always been kind of concerned about my weight as well."

"Really?"

Taiki nodded. "Yep..." she whispered.

"Well I mean there's nothing wrong with being an athletic junkie and wanting to work out all the time. It's kind of a good thing."

"That's not exactly what I meant." Taiki said as she looked away.

Haruka looked over at the other girl. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Forget it, it's nothing."

"Taiki, you know you can tell me."

"It's nothing Haruka."

Haruka huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. She stood up and marched over to Taiki. She knelt down on the ground and put a hand on her shoulder. She then reached her other hand up and turned Taiki's face to face her. She could see that Taiki was on the verge of tears and she wouldn't even look at her. "Taiki, tell me. Onegai." she whispered.

She didn't even know why she was being so patient since she never was like this with anyone else. If it was anyone else she would be yelling at them to talk about it and if they didn't then she'd get mad and storm off. Well unless it was Michiru. Her eyes widened when she realized she was treating Taiki the same as Michiru.

 _NO Haruka! Taiki is not Michiru!_ she thought to herself. There was no one like Michiru and Taiki would never be able to replace her ever. So then why the hell did she care so much about this woman?

A soft sob shook her from her thoughts. She looked up and saw that Taiki had her gaze cast towards the ground and was crying.

"Taiki..." Haruka whispered.

Taiki looked up and the brokenness Haruka saw in her eyes was enough to make her want to break down and cry. "Do you really want me to tell you?" she asked.

"Onegai." Haruka said softly. "I want to help you and I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

"Well back in the days of the three lights there was a lot of pressure. The media was constantly watching and we needed to be perfect. I always had the most pressure to be perfect because I was the least popular. I was always pressured to look handsome and be slim and muscular. Eventually the pressure got to be so much that I..." she began but her voice got caught in her throat.

"What did you do Taiki?" Haruka asked, already knowing the answer but praying it wasn't what she thought it was.

"I began starving myself and throwing up..." she whispered as more tears fell.

"Taiki..." Haruka whispered as she immediately wrapped her arms around the girl.

The younger girl wrapped her arms around her and sobbed into her shoulder. "I still struggle with that. I always feel like I'm not good enough. Like I need to be better."

"Taiki, you're perfect the way you are." the blonde whispered as she rubbed her back.

"Arigatou Haruka..."

The two stayed like that for a while before they pulled away. "You know if you're ever struggling with that, you can come to me." the older girl whispered quietly.

Taiki gave her a small smile. "Arigatou." she whispered.

Haruka smiled back. "Yeah it's no problem." she said. "I'm going to keep running so I guess I'll see you around."

"See ya." the brunette replied.

Haruka turned around and began running, the wind gently tousling her hair. as she ran. She just didn't understand why she had feelings for Taiki. She didn't want to fall in love again. Not ever. "Screw love!" she yelled as she ran.


	9. Chapter 9

**Authors Note: Sorry for such a boring chapter. There will be better ones to come :)**

"Where is that stupid place?" Haruka muttered, irritated that she'd already driven down this street 20 times and she still couldn't find the place she was looking for. "Taiki said it should be here but I don't see it!" she said to herself, her voice raising in frustration.

Then out of the corner of her eye she spotted it, the big tall silver building Taiki had mentioned.

"Oh for fucks sake." she yelled as she drove over to the building and parked.

She got out of her car and slammed the door shut before looking up at the building. There was a sign on the building that read _Sakura Counselling,_ the cursive letters surrounded by cartoon like images of sakura flowers.

"So cheesy." she muttered to herself as she walked up to the building. She grabbed the handle and pulled it open only to be met with the strong scent of artificial sakura flowers.

She walked up to the front desk where a young women probably in her early 20's sat. She had long curly hot pink hair, and was probably wearing 50 pounds of makeup on her face, combined with a hot pink dress that was obviously way too tight on her curvy figure. Haruka groaned quietly at the sight. "Hi, I'm here for an appointment with Dr. Lee."

The girl looked up at her and tilted her head. "Dr. Lee?" she repeated.

Haruka let out an irritated sigh. "Hai, Dr. Lee."

"Ahh ok. Name?"

"Tenou Haruka."

"Ok Mrs. Tenou, Dr. Lee will be with you shortly."

"Arigatou." Haruka replied before walking over to one of the short chairs and taking a seat.

Even though the room was covered in bright colors, Haruka quickly found herself bored and began to let her thoughts wander and thought back to that conversation with Taiki, when she told her about this place.

 _It had been another one of those nights where Haruka had woken up screaming from another nightmare._

 _Drenched in sweat, she quickly reached over to grab her phone, dialing the number she now knew by heart._

 _A man answered and she could tell he recognized her when he spoke. "Room 147 right?" he asked right away, obviously aware that this was a usual thing since she called almost every day at around this hour._

 _"Hai." Haruka answered quickly and there was a brief silence before she heard a sudden click indicating that someone had answered._

 _"Hello Haruka." Taiki said meekly, already knowing who was on the other end. She let out a soft sigh before speaking again. "What happened in the dream this time?" she asked gently._

 _"I saw Michiru again but this time she was standing there holding a baby and she told me it was one of the twins and when I looked down I saw that I was holding the other one and she was so happy and I..." Haruka began between sobs but eventually broke down full on crying once again. She hated the fact that she was being so weak and how vulnerable she felt. She hated that all her walls she'd worked so hard to build had just come crumbling down into heaps of rubble and she had no clue how to build them back up again._

 _She heard the younger girl let out a soft sigh. "Gomenasai Haruka. I know you miss her." she said softly, her voice filled with sadness for her friend. "If you want," she began. "I saw a place downtown the other day called Sakura Counselling. Maybe you can check them out since they'd probably be able to give you more help then I can."_

 _Haruka sniffed and wiped away the tears that kept falling. "Maybe..." she said quietly, thinking the idea over in her head._

 _"Well if you want to set up an appointment with them let me know and I can give you their address and phone number."_

 _"Ok, arigatou Taiki."_

 _"It's no problem Haruka." Taiki said, and although Haruka couldn't see her she could tell she was smiling._

 _She heard a soft rustling on the other end of the phone and a soft mumbling. "Go to bed Yaten, I'm just talking to Haruka." the starlight said, obviously having woken up the eldest of the three._

 _"You woke Yaten up?"_

 _Taiki giggled. "She's a light sleeper, unlike Seiya." she whispered obviously trying to keep her voice down._

 _Haruka smiled. "Arigatou Taiki, good night."_

 _"Good night Haruka." she said and the line went dead._

Haruka was snapped back into reality when she heard a door open. A short lady who appeared to be around 40 stepped out, black hair up in a bun, dark round glasses framing her small eyes, and a long white coat over top of a black dress that fell to her knees.

"Tenou Haruka?" she asked as she looked around the room.

The blonde stood up from her seat and walked over to her. "That's me." she said with a cocky grin on her face.

The lady smiled and shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Dr. Lee." She said. "My office is right this way, please follow me." she said and turned around walking to a room at the other end of the hall.

Haruka followed and found herself in a pale grey room with a dark black couch and a small little desk and office chair. In front of her was a clear glass coffee table filled with writing paper and assorted pens and pencils.

She sat down on the couch and was surprised at how soft it actually was. She folded her legs and tried to prepare herself for the difficult conversation that was coming.

The shorter lady had sat down on her office chair and her hands were folded, her eyes intensely focused on the young lady sitting in front of her. "So tell me what brings you here?" she asked softly, her voice kind and caring.

Haruka took a deep breath in, as many memories of her and Michiru came flooding through her brain. "Well you see a few years ago my wife or my girlfriend at the time, Michiru, was diagnosed with leukemia. She went through years of chemotherapy and a little over a month ago she was told that she a month left to live. Her last wish was for me to carry her child by combining our egg cells.

"I did wind up pregnant, but with twins. 3 weeks later I received a call in the middle of the night from the hospital. They told me to come as quickly as possible so I did." she said as she started choking up. "They then told me that she had less then a week to live. I wound up crawling into her bed and sleeping next to her.

"She woke me up the next morning and told me she loved me. Then..." she started to say but her voice caught in her throat and she felt tears coming to her eyes. _No, I won't cry in front of a stranger._ she thought as she blinked away her tears.

"...her heart stopped." she finished, the words reminding her how hollow and empty she felt on the inside.

The older lady's eyes were filled with sadness as she looked at Haruka. "Gomenasai." she said softly. She paused for a moment trying to gather her thoughts. "Your wife wouldn't want to see you this sad though. She'd want you to move on and be happy.

"Now thats not something anyone can accomplish over night but with time your heart will heal even though it may feel like it won't. You'll always carry a piece of her through your twins, so you'll never be completely without her."

Haruka nodded slowly. "I guess that's true but I just don't think I'll ever be able to fully get over her. I don't think my heart can love anyone else. I feel like I'll always be mourning her and wanting her and nobody else."

"Well you'll always mourn her to an extent since she was your wife and you did truly love her but over time there might be someone else who you can find room in your heart for as well."

An image of Taiki appeared in the blonde's head and her eyes widened as she tried to force that thought out of her head.

Dr. Lee tilted her head at the girl's expression. "Is anything on your mind?" she asked.

Haruka forced a smile and shook her head. "No, daijoubu."

/

After about an hour the session came to a close as Haruka paid for the visit and arranged for another appointment. "Arigatou!" she called out as she left the building, the fake sakura scent leaving her senses as she stepped outside and into her car.

The drive home felt like forever as the things she'd said stuck in her mind. Her thoughts were a jumbled up mess, each thought intertwining itself with another continuously until she could no longer decipher any of them.

She made it home but with a pounding headache. She walked inside and slowly headed upstairs, plopping down on her messy bed.

She laid there for a bit trying to sort her thoughts but nothing was untangling.

She sighed in frustration and got up, hoping to find a pill for her headache somewhere. She rummaged through her drawers, knowing that somewhere she had pills but she couldn't remember where. Her hands rummaged through her things before she felt cold metal beneath her fingers.

Haruka grabbed onto the metal object and pulled it out, coming face to face with Michiru's transformation rod.

She felt tears come to her eyes as she examined the still perfectly in tact rod. The colors were still vibrant and the symbol of neptune on top seemed to stare at her dauntingly in the face as if to remind her of what she'd lost.

She carefully put it back not wanting to look at it anymore. She closed the drawer and fell backwards onto her bed trying to keep herself from crying.

"Neptune..." she whispered sadly, as she stared up at the ceiling before she eventually fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors Note: Trigger warning for bulimia!**

 _It was a beautiful warm sunny day. The sun was shining brightly and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The waves were a brilliant blue and they were very still and calm, only rippling slightly when the blue haired girl made a movement._

 _She stood on the shore wearing a bright yellow sun dress, her bare feet touching the hot blazing sand and with every flick of her hands, the waves would rise and fall. She had the most beautiful smile on her face as she ran across the hot sand, the waves following her every movement._

 _Haruka could only stand and watch the beauty in front of her as she ran, the cutest giggle escaping her lips every now and again. And then she turned to look at Haruka one last time and smiled before walking to the ocean. She took one step in and was gone. Swallowed whole. No more traces of her to be found._

Haruka shot up in bed with tears in her eyes. She hated having these dreams every night. She already missed Michiru when she was awake, why did she have to be on her mind when she was asleep too?

She sighed and rubbed her eyes before turning to look at her alarm clock. "God, it's only 2 AM?" she asked herself irritably, before face palming herself for waking up so early.

She rose from her bed and walked over to her washroom. She turned to look at her reflection which had changed so much over the past month. She had gone from cocky, confidant and sexy to depressed, tired and just average per say. Her eyes had large bags underneath and her usual cocky smile was a frown that just wouldn't seem to go away. Her eyes had lost their confidant shine and just seemed dull and lifeless now.

She turned on the tap and splashed cold water on her face to try and wake herself up. She turned the tap off and grabbed a towel to dry her face off. She put the towel back when all of a sudden she heard her phone ringing back in her bedroom.

She walked back and picked the phone up in her hand. "Who the hell is calling at this hour?" she muttered, before pressing answer. "Moshi moshi." she said tiredly.

"Haruka?"

The blonde's eyes widened. "Seiya? Why are you calling?" she asked confused as to why the leader of starlights would be calling her at 2 am.

"Hai, it's me. Listen do you think you could come over to the hotel we're staying at?" the other woman asked.

"Nani? At this hour?"

Seiya sighed. "Look Haruka, it's an emergency ok, can you please come?" she asked sounding desperate.

Haruka was starting to get annoyed at this point. "Define emergency."

"It's Taiki."

Haruka felt her heart drop. Now she was starting to get anxious. "Is she ok?"

"Please just get here as quick as you can. I'll explain when you get here." Seiya answered before the line went dead.

Tears began to fill Haruka's eyes as she quickly grabbed a sweater to put over top of her tank top. She only had on boxers for bottoms but they'd have to do for now.

She quickly put on a pair of shoes and ran outside, slamming the door behind her as she raced to her car. She slammed the car door shut and put the keys in the ignition, the car roaring as it came to life.

As she drove she couldn't help the tears that flooded her eyes. She was so worried about Taiki. A million things came to mind that could have possibly happened. Her knuckles became even whiter as she gripped the wheel even tighter.

She finally spotted the hotel Taiki had said they were staying at. It was a tall black building that seemed to have about a bazillion floors. She got out and rushed inside, racing over to the front desk.

The guy at the front desk gave her an odd look. "Sorry ma'am, check in isn't for another 10 hours." he said flatly.

Haruka glared at him. "I'm not checking in." she growled. "The people from room 147 called and they need me right now."

"Oh you're that woman who always calls late at night."

"Yes, yes I am."

"Ok, you can go up. The room is on the second floor. Elevators are to your left." he said, gesturing with his left hand.

The blonde nodded. "Arigatou." she said before rushing over to the elevators. She pressed a button and after what felt like forever, the elevator finally arrived. She stepped in and pressed the button that said 2.

The elevator beeped and it began moving underneath her feet. The doors opened and she quickly got out. She rushed down the halls before she found the room. She pounded on the doors with her fists before it opened.

At the door was a tired looking Seiya who had tear streaks running down her cheeks and her long black hair was disheveled and her her eyes looked red and puffy from crying. "Thank God you're here." she said as she stepped back for the blonde to enter.

"Where's Taiki?" Haruka asked as she scanned the room in search for her friend.

Seiya sighed. "She locked herself in the bathroom and won't come out. Me and Yaten have been trying to get her to come out for the longest time." she whispered.

Haruka looked to see Yaten standing outside the bathroom, pounding on the door with her fists.

"Is she ok?"

The leader of the starlights shook her head. "I don't think so. I don't know what set her off. I thought she might listen to you though."

The blonde nodded and walked over to the bathroom. She put a hand on the silver haired girl's shoulder. Yaten stopped pounding on the door and stopped to look up at her. Haruka smiled at her. "I've got this from here Yaten." she said softly. The other pregnant lady nodded and stepped back.

Haruka knocked gently on the door. "Taiki, it's me Haruka. Can you please open up?" she asked softly. She heard no response and she sighed. "Good thing I know how to pick a lock." she whispered as she pulled a bobby pin out of her sweater. She stuck the end of it in the knob and twisted it until the door slightly opened. She pulled the pin out and pushed the door further open, her heart breaking at the sight she saw before her.

There Taiki was on the floor, three fingers shoved down her throat, vomit already in the toilet.

Tears began to fall down Haruka's cheeks once again. "Taiki." she whispered as she walked over to her friend. She knelt down beside her and put her hand on the arm that she was trying to make herself vomit with.

The brunette removed her hand and turned to look at Haruka, vomit stained on her face, bloodshot eyes, puffy cheeks and tear streaks. "Go away Haruka." she muttered.

Haruka shook her head. "No I'm not leaving you here like this." she said as she stood up, grabbing a small towel and putting it under the tap, running water so it was cold and wet. She rung it out and knelt back down beside Taiki. She wiped the vomit away and placed the towel back on the sink.

"What happened?" she asked, as she grabbed Taiki's hands in her own so that she wouldn't try to make herself throw up again.

Taiki began crying and her gaze fell to the floor. "I don't really know. Something in me just snapped. I don't know what caused it. I just saw myself and all the old thoughts came flooding back. I made it a year Haruka and I just ruined it. Gomenasai." she whispered, before her sobs took over.

The blonde sighed and released her grip on the other girl's hands before wrapping her arms around her in a hug. "It's ok Taiki. Come here." she said softly.

The brunette wrapped her arms tightly around her in return, her fingernails digging through Haruka's sweater as she desperately held on. "Gomenasai."

"It's ok but next time please please please call me if you feel like doing this. I know I'm suffering but you can still come to me with your problems. You're worth more then this and people need you. Kakyuu needs you. Seiya needs you. Yaten needs you. Misa needs you. I need you. None of us want to see anything happen to you."

"I know." Taiki muttered in response.

"Hey we want to join in on the hug too." Seiya said as she knelt down beside them and wrapped her arms around them.

Yaten stood at the doorway watching. "I'd join too but I might not be able to get up off the floor after." she said with a small laugh. "But I know someone else who can." she said walking away briefly before walking back with a sleeping Misa in her arms.

Seiya and Haruka got up off the floor as Yaten passed the baby to her wife.

The black haired woman bent down. "Here." she whispered.

Taiki smiled and cradled the little baby in her arms. "Gomen Misa. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." she said softly as she planted a soft kiss on the sleeping baby's forehead.

She stood up and walked over to where the crib was, placing her sleeping daughter down gently. She turned back to the blonde. "Arigatou Haruka."

Haruka smiled. "It's no problem."

"Do you want to stay the night, it's late and its the least we could do for you." Taiki offered.

"It's fine Tai-"

Yaten interrupted the other scout. "It's settled already. You're here in your pajamas so you're staying the night. No questions asked."

Haruka laughed. "Ok, I guess I'll stay the night."

The brunette crawled into one of the two large beds and motioned for Haruka to come lay beside her. The blonde did as asked and laid down. "Good night Taiki." she whispered.

"Good night Haruka."


	11. Chapter 11

**Authors note: Trigger warning for mentions of self harm, smoking, and eating disorders!**

When Haruka awoke the next morning, she was surprised to find that she wasn't in her own bed. The blankets covering her body were different then her own, they were a creamy white color with a floral pattern, nothing like the ones she had on her bed. She turned her head slightly and saw Taiki curled up beside her, clutching her pillow to her chest, her eyelids closed shut with a peaceful smile on her face.

Flashbacks of the night came flooding back to Haruka, and the image of Taiki hunched over the toilet came back to her mind. Seeing the normally serious and mature starlight like that was just heart wrenching. She could still remember her tear stains running down her cheeks and her three fingers shoved down her throat.

Haruka sighed and reached a hand out quietly, stroking one of Taiki's arms softly. "Gomenasai Taiki." she whispered, as she pulled her hand away.

She slowly sat up and peeled the covers off of her. She looked around the room and saw that the others still appeared to be asleep. She quietly got off the bed and grabbed her keys off the bedside table, walking slowly and quietly towards the door.

She was just about to put her shoes on when a voice startled her. "Oi!"

Haruka spun around, dropping her keys on the floor in surprise. She groaned and bent down to pick them up, before looking back up to see a tired Seiya sitting up in bed, rubbing her eyes.

"Where are you going?" Seiya asked, as she let out a yawn.

"Oh, I was just going to head home now."

"No you're not."

"Nani?" Haruka asked, confused as to what was going through the starlight's brain.

"You have to stay for breakfast."

"I can make myself breakfast at home. I don't have to stay."

Seiya got up and walked towards Haruka. She grabbed her wrist tightly and started trying to pull her back towards the bed.

"Let go of me Seiya!" she yelled, pulling her hand away.

"What's going on?"

The two turned around to see a tired Taiki sitting up in bed, with a confused look on her face.

"Haruka doesn't want to stay for breakfast." Seiya pouted.

The brunette groaned and rubbed her forehead. "Seiya you can't make her stay. If she wants to go home you have to let her."

Seiya sighed and cast her gaze down towards the ground. "I know. Gomen Haruka." she muttered.

Haruka tossed her keys on the ground and let out an exasperated sigh. "Ok fine I'll stay."

Seiya's eyes lit up and a big smile stretched across her face. "Really?"

The blonde nodded and crawled back into the bed beside Taiki. "Really." she muttered.

"You should stay here in bed and me and Taiki will bring you back some food. It's your own personal breakfast in bed!"

"I didn't agree to that Seiya."

"Yeah but Yaten is still asleep and I don't want to wake her up because she'll rip my head off if I do and I don't like leaving her alone."

"Seiya she's a grown adult, I think she's fine."

Seiya's smile turned into a frown and she began pouting. "Onegai Haruka. Just let us do this for you." she pleaded.

Haruka rolled her eyes and she sunk down under the blankets. "Ugh fine." She felt a hand on her shoulder and she gently turned her head to see Taiki looking down at her.

"You sure you're ok with this? You don't have to stay here."

The blonde gave her a small smile. "It's fine. Go eat."

Taiki pulled her hand away and gave her a small smile. "Arigatou." she said quickly before getting up to put her shoes on.

Haruka rolled over on her side just as she heard the door shut. The room was peacefully quiet and she was almost asleep again before she heard movement on the other end of the room.

She sat up and turned to see Yaten sitting up in her bed, awake now and muttering quietly to herself. "Um are you alright?" she asked hesitantly.

The silver haired girl turned her head to look at her. She shrugged slightly but her brows were slightly furrowed. "I guess." she muttered. "Just irritated that Seiya doesn't trust me by myself."

"Why?"

Yaten let out a forced laugh. "She doesn't like me being alone because I get really bad anxiety attacks and they can get really nasty when I'm alone."

"I don't get why that's a bad thing. I mean isn't it good that she cares about you?"

"It is but it's frustrating because I have everything under control for the most part so it's not as much of an issue as it was in the past."

"I see." Haruka responded before taking a moment to think. "Does she struggle with anxiety too?" she found herself asking after a long period of thinking.

Yaten nodded. "Oh yeah. Both her and Taiki do. But I mean when you're a soldier how can you not? I mean there's constantly so much pressure on you and especially knowing that we're in charge of keeping our princesss safe and if anything happens to her, that it's all our fault."

"Yeah you're right about that. Back when we were battling Galaxia, I was so anxious when I saw that the other senshi couldn't beat Galaxia. Together they have such strong power and yet if they couldn't even defeat Galaxia how was I supposed to? I think that's why me and Michiru pretended to surrender to Galaxia. We thought that with her power that that might be enough to weaken her but it failed." she said, her mind filling with flashbacks of attacking Saturn and Pluto, watching them die at her own hands and then watching Michiru fade away beside her. She shuddered at the memories.

Yaten tilted her head towards the ceiling and closed her eyes. "Hai, I remember feeling your star's shine go out. It was such a strong energy when it was still alive and when it died, I could feel it throughout my whole body." she whispered.

"Wow, I never imagined how hard that must be for you. Constantly feeling people's stars die as they pass on. I wouldn't be able to do it." she muttered, closing her eyes as she tried to imagine the feeling. "Hell I'd probably try to kill myself."

"I have tried." Yaten said meekly, opening her eyes again and casting her gaze towards her arms.

Haruka's eyes opened in shock and she turned to face Yaten. "Nani?"

"You heard me. I've tried to kill myself. Once was when I was 13 and my empath abilities were slowly growing stronger. It became so much that I tried to overdose on a bunch of pills my mom had laying around. Another time I started cutting my wrist and was bleeding profusely from it when all of a sudden Taiki came bursting into my room and saw me laying on the floor, literally laying in a pool of blood. She was traumatized from it and I still have the scars to this day."

"Gomenasai Yaten. I had no idea."

"It's fine. I don't want sympathy. All I want is for other people to be aware of all this and for them to not do it themselves. I tried so much, smoking daily when I was on earth before Seiya and Taiki forced me to quit, cutting daily for almost two years, and many other things and they didn't help me and they don't help anyone but yet so many people think that they will help them."

"Hai." Haruka whispered. "I once walked in on Hotaru trying to choke herself a couple years ago. She had remembered everything that had happened from her past life and she hated herself for it, so she decided that the best option was to try and kill herself."

"I once walked in on Seiya when she used to cut. I was told to go get her from her room for supper and I went up there but she wouldn't open her door and so I forced it open and there she was with a blade in her hand, slicing her thighs left and right. I grabbed that blade and threw it away. She slapped me in that moment but she came back later and apologized and wound up spending the night in my room."

"It's awful watching the ones you love go through these kinds of things." Haruka said quietly, as the image of Taiki came back to her mind. She felt tears fill her eyes but she shook her head trying to force them away.

"Hai." Yaten responded softly. "I just hope my kids never have to go through the same things we have." she whispered as she placed a hand on her stomach.

"Me too." Haruka said and looked down at her own stomach. It was weird for her to think that there were little babies in there. Her stomach was only very very slightly round and she didn't even look pregnant, just bloated. She placed her own hand there and closed her eyes, trying to imagine her future life.

She knew she'd be in crystal tokyo with all of the other soliders, after all that was her destiny but yet for some reason even that felt unsteady. It just seemed like her life kept leading her in different directions other then what her fate was supposed to be. Fate had already changed once now that Michiru was gone, but now everything else just felt wrong.

She was interrupted from her thoughts by the sound of the door opening. "Ohayo!" Seiya called out as she rushed over to her wife, carrying a small plate of food in one hand. She pecked her on the cheek and Yaten rolled her eyes. "For you." she said as she placed the food in her lap.

The brunette walked over to Haruka and pulled out a small grocery bag. "Here, I went to the grocery store right next door and picked this up for you."

Haruka opened up the bag slightly and peered in. She let out a gasp. "You bought me pickles and ice cream?"

Taiki laughed as she walked over to pick her daughter up out of her crib. "Yep, I remembered that you said you craved them a lot so I thought I'd pick some up for you."

Haruka felt her cheeks redden slightly and she couldn't help but grin. "Arigatou Taiki."

"It's no problem."

Haruka ate what she could and put the rest back in her bag to take home. She got up from the bed and walked over to Taiki who was holding Misa.

"I'm going to go now."

Taiki turned around and reached her one free arm around her. "Thank you for coming last night." she whispered quietly.

Haruka wrapped an arm around her in return. "It's no problem but if something ever happens again, promise you'll call me?"

"I promise."

The two let go and Haruka quickly reached out to rustle Misa's hair. "Goodbye Misa-chan." she whispered to the sleeping baby. She said a quick goodbye to the other two starlights and left, getting into her car and letting everything process in her brain.

She had learnt so much about the starlights and she had seen such a vulnerable side to Taiki. It amazed her that Taiki who once the sailor senshi had thought to be heartless and mean, and self absorbed, actually had such a soft yet broken heart. Even Yaten had opened up to her. Some of the other sailor scouts wouldn't even open up to her so it shocked her that these women would trust her so easily.

Her head pounded as she tried to make sense of everything and as soon as she got home she threw her shoes on the floor and ran upstairs, collapsing in her own bed into a deep sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Haruka smiled at herself as she looked in her mirror. Today she had her visit with Hotaru who was now 13 years old. After Michiru had been diagnosed with cancer, the couple had moved out and bought a place for just the two of them, leaving Setsuna to raise the senshi of Saturn. Haruka occasionally got to see her when the younger soldier wasn't busy with schoolwork.

She smoothed out the creases in her shirt and ran a hand through her hair. Deciding it was good, she left to go put her shoes on. She left her house, locking the door behind her before getting into her car.

She shut her door and turned the car on, the sound of it roaring to life ringing loudly in her ears. She drove off to Hotaru's school where the girl would be getting out of in only a short while. She parked in front once she arrived and leaned her head back as memories flooded through her head.

How many times had she been here with Michiru? Laughing together as they waited for the little girl they loved so dearly to come running up to them, telling them all about her week and her classes. This time though Haruka was alone.

She sighed, closing her eyes. "Michiru." she muttered sadly. She was shaken from her thoughts when a voice called out to her.

"Haruka-papa!"

The blonde looked over to see the young girl, short black hair flowing behind her as she ran, an excited smile on her face. Haruka smiled as the girl reached her car and crawled in the backseat. "Hello Hotaru." she said, flashing the girl a smile. "How was school?" she asked, as the car began to move again.

"Oh it was great! In gym today we got to play soccer and my team won!" she exclaimed, her face lighting up as she spoke.

"Way to go!" Haruka said, flashing her a smile through her mirror. "So where do you want to go today?"

Hotaru paused for a moment. "Hmmm... can we get something to eat?" she finally asked.

Haruka chuckled. "Of course we can. Anything in particular you'd like?"

"Pizza!"

The blonde couldn't help but chuckle again at the girl's sweetness. "Sounds good to me. Say, I know a great pizza place near here called Momo's Pizza. Do you want to go there?"

"Hai!"

"Momo's pizza it is then!"

After a few minutes of driving and chatting, they finally reached the place. It was a small restaurant with a bright red roof and a sign with a big cartoon man wearing a big chef hat and a large black mustache who appeared to be holding a sign that said "Momo's Pizza."

The two walked in and were greeted by a young lady wearing a short white dress and high heels. "Hi there! Welcome to Momo's Pizza! Just the two of you?"

Haruka nodded. "Hai."

The lady smiled and grabbed two menus. "Follow me." she said as she lead them to a small booth. They each grabbed a seat across from each other and the waitress placed the menus down on the table. "Can I get you something to drink?" she asked, as they each grabbed a menu.

"Orange juice for me please." Hotaru said, as she flipped open her menu.

"I'll just have water." Haruka said.

"Ok one orange juice and one water. I'll be right back!"

Haruka watched the waitress leave and then focused her attention on Hotaru once she was gone. "Any idea what you want?" she asked, as the young teen flipped through her menu.

She looked up and paused, finger on her chin as she was deep in her thoughts. "Hmmm I think I want cheese pizza." she finally said, closing her menu and setting it down on the table.

Haruka chuckled. "I was thinking I'd get the same thing. You want to share a pizza?" she asked, earning a nod in response. "Then it's settled." she said, putting her menu together with the other one.

As she sat the menus back down, the waitress returned, drinks in one hand, notepad in the other. "So I've got an orange juice," she began setting the glass of orange liquid in front of Hotaru. "and water." she said, placing Haruka's cup in front of her.

The blonde nodded and grabbed a straw. "Arigatou." she said, as she pulled the wrapper off the straw.

The lady flashed her a smile before puling out a pen. "No problem! Do you know what you'd like to order?"

"One large cheese pizza please."

"Got it, one large cheese pizza." she repeated, quickly scribbling the words down in her notepad. "Can I get you anything else?"

Haruka shook her head. "No, I think we're good."

"Ok, your food will be out shortly." the lady said, giving them one last smile before walking away.

"So," Haruka began once she was gone. "Setsuna told me she's engaged now."

Hotaru smiled and nodded. "Yep! His name is Michael."

"Do you like him?"

The teen shrugged. "He seems pretty nice I guess. He's going to be moving in with us once they get married."

"How is that going to work though? What with you two being senshi and all, and Crystal Tokyo only being a few years away."

Another shrug. "I don't know. I try not to think about it." she said, grabbing her wrapper from her straw and crumpling it up into a small ball.

Haruka cocked her head slightly. "What's wrong? Did something happen with him?"

She shook her head and sighed. "No, it's just..." she began but stopped herself.

"What is it Hotaru?"

"I miss living with you. Setsuna-mama is nice and I love her but she doesn't get me like you do." she said sadly, casting her gaze on the table.

Haruka sighed. "Hotaru as much as I'd love for you to come live with me, it'd be too hard. Now that Michiru's gone and the twins are on the way, I don't know if I can handle raising three kids. Gomen."

"I know, it's just not the same without you."

"Hey, think of it this way. Once Crystal Tokyo is finally formed you'll get to see me everyday." she said, trying to be reassuring but yet there was still a feeling of uncertainty in her heart.

"Yeah I guess." the teen said, giving her a small smile. "I have a question."

"Ask anything you'd like."

"Do you think you'll ever fall in love again? I mean I know you loved Michiru-mama but do you think you'll ever date anyone else?"

Haruka's eyes widened in shock. She silently prayed that Setsuna hadn't told her about Taiki. She was about to respond when the waitress arrived, pizza in one hand.

"Here you are!" she said cheerily, putting the food down in front of them. "Let me know if you need anything else." she chirped before walking off.

The two ate in silence and Haruka could feel anxiety flowing through her body. She didn't want anyone to know about her possible feelings for Taiki. Hell she didn't even know for sure what these feelings were and she sure didn't want it becoming public knowledge.

When they finished, there were still a couple of slices left that Hotaru packed for Setsuna. Haruka paid the bill and the two left.

They got into her car and Haruka drove the girl home. When they reached her house she got out along with her. Hotaru rang the bell and Setsuna answered. Her eyes widened when she saw Haruka had came up to the door. They hadn't talked since their last meeting which had ended in a disaster. "Haruka what a pleasant surprise."

"Don't act innocent Setsuna." the blonde snapped, as Hotaru walked by and into her home, unaware of what was happening.

The older lady's eyes widened. "Pardon?" she asked, confused as to what had sparked her friend's anger.

"You told Hotaru about Taiki didn't you?" she hissed, blue eyes filled with rage.

Setsuna sighed. "Yes but-" she didn't get the chance to finish her sentence before she was slapped.

"Keep the others out of my business!" she yelled as she stormed off, silently cursing Usagi in her head for inviting the starlights back to Earth. Tears burned her eyes as she drove off. When she got back to her place, she stormed inside and collapsed on her couch, choking back tears. "Why did you have to leave me Michiru?" she screamed before burying her face in the cushions.


	13. Chapter 13

**Authors note: Trigger warning for mentions of rape!**

The sun was beginning to set in the sky, shades of red and pink replacing the usual pale blue color it had. "It's beautiful isn't it?" Taiki commented softly, her eyes focused on the sight in front of her.

Haruka nodded, shutting her eyes. Today was the last day the starlights had of their vacation before they went back home, they'd be leaving early in the morning before the sun rose and before the birds began to chirp. Then she'd be on her own again. "I'm going to miss you." she said softly, opening her eyes and straightening her posture.

Taiki's gaze moved from the sunset to the blonde sitting on her left. "Are you now?"

"You're one of my only true friends, of course I'm going to miss you."

"But you have all the other scouts to talk to, you won't be alone."

She shook her head softly. "No you don't understand. The inner scouts are sweet and friendly but they tend to stick to their own group of the five of them most of the time. And Setsuna and I have been having issues recently, and Hotaru is too young to help me with all of this. You're one of the only people who understands me and makes me feel like I'm more then just a team mate chosen by destiny."

The brunette stared at in her in silence for a minute before speaking. "Well I'm going to miss you too." she said softly before giving her a small smile.

Haruka smiled back. "Thanks for spending today with me." she said, reminiscing about their adventures from the past few hours. First she'd dragged Taiki to an amusement park, then the starlight had dragged her to a huge library where the blonde had fallen asleep in the middle of the horror section, then they'd went out for supper and now here they were. "It was the most fun I've had in a while."

"It's no problem, I'm glad you had fun. You deserve a break from all the stress in your life."

"Do you think Seiya and Yaten are sick of babysitting Misa yet?"

Taiki chuckled. "I think Misa's probably the one who's sick of them."

Haruka let out a loud laugh, shutting her eyes before letting out a content sigh. "You said Misa is 2 months old today, right?"

"Hai, I'm surprised you remembered."

The blonde grinned. "I guess I have a talent." she said jokingly.

Taiki rolled her eyes and lightly punched her in the shoulder. "Shut up." she said, trying to hold her laughter in.

"Say you never told me about Misa's dad. Who is this dude anyways?"

The brunette's smile faded and her face went ghostly pale, and in that moment Haruka knew she fucked up.

"Gomen Taiki, if you don't want to talk about him it's fine."

The starlight shook her head and let out a small sigh. "No I'll tell you." she said quietly. " His name was Yukio. I grew up alongside him in the palace. His father was one of the main guards and me and Yukio had been good friends when we were little. When I returned from earth Yukio approached me and asked me out. I said yes but what I didn't know was while I was gone he'd become an alcoholic."

Haruka's eyes widened and realization hit her. "Oh god." she whispered, already knowing what the girl was going to say next.

"We started dating and we were together for about 2 years before I broke up with him. I loved him but he was nasty when he was drunk. He'd yell at me and sometimes hit me, so I thought it was best if we split. A month later he came back to the palace drunk as all hell and he found me in the library alone. He was really strong and muscular and so he was able to pick me up. He carried me to my room while I was kicking and screaming. He threw me on my bed where he proceeded to rape me..." she whispered, tears visible in her eyes despite the darkness around them.

"Healer heard me and came running to my room and when she saw him she attacked him with a star sensitive inferno. Kakyuu was informed and Yukio was put in jail on the other side of Kinmoku and was banned from ever coming anywhere near the palace again."

"And then you found out you were pregnant." Haruka said quietly.

Taiki nodded. "Hai." she whispered, before she broke down in tears.

Haruka sighed pulling her in for a tight hug. "Gomenasai Taiki. He's an asshole and I hope he rots in hell." she said through gritted teeth.

The other girl didn't say anything and kept crying into her shirt. Just then Haruka came up with an idea and pulled away, reaching into her pocket to grab something. She pulled out her phone and turned it on, a loud pop song filling the air.

She stood up and reached out her hand towards Taiki. "Come dance!" she shouted.

The starlight sniffed but let out a small laugh. "I would but I don't dance very well."

The blonde scoffed and grabbed the girl by the arm pulling her up onto her feet. "Now dance with me!" she said as she started jumping up and down with the music.

Taiki looked at her hesitantly and slowly began trying to copy her. Haruka flashed her a smile and the younger girl's nerves settled down and soon she was dancing alongside her.

The song finished and both women were smiling and laughing. "See you did great!" Haruka exclaimed.

Taiki rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah I was just copying you."

"So you had fun right?"

"Hai."

"Then that's all that matters!"

"I guess you're right." Taiki responded, grinning at her. She stared up at the sky and her smile faded slightly. "I should probably get going. I'll be gone by 6 in the morning."

"You'll come back to visit right?"

"Of course. And if you ever need anything Kinmoku isn't too hard to find. Just listen for Seiya and Yaten screaming and you'll know you've found the right planet."

Haruka chuckled before wrapping her arms around Taiki in a hug. "Arigatou."

"For what?"

"For coming to earth even though you knew I hated you guys. You still came to support me even though you knew I'd probably be upset."

"It's no problem."

The blonde smiled and she felt tears welling up in her eyes but she blinked them away. Instead she pulled away and smiled at her. "I'll drive you back to the hotel." she said as she lead the other women to her car.

They got in and drove off to the hotel. Taiki got out but left her door open momentarily. "I'll see you soon! Ja!" she yelled out, as she closed her door.

Haruka drove home where she immediately rushed upstairs and collapsed in her bed. Sleep came easily to her and soon she was once again lost in her dreams.

/

Haruka woke up in the middle of the night once again, her whole body shaking and her eyes wide open. "I don't want to be left alone." she whispered, fear beginning to take over her. She looked over at her clock at saw that it was 5:15. Taiki left in 45 minutes.

She jumped out of bed and quickly grabbed a sweater before racing downstairs to put on her shoes. She ran outside and got into her car. She didn't know where the starlights would be but she wanted to say goodbye one last time.

She drove for what felt like forever and her eyes were starting to fill with tears as she gripped the steering wheel as tight as she could. The sky was still pitch black and she was beginning to lose hope.

The numbers on the tiny clock in her car read 5:55 and she knew she only had 5 minutes before they'd be gone.

As if her prayers were answered she saw a glimmer of purple, blue and green light in the middle of a small park. She parked quickly and got out, running as fast as her legs would carry her, hoping that she had guessed right.

As she got closer the light grew brighter and she was able to make out the three women standing there, holding their star yells high up in the air.

"Maker!" she screamed. The tallest of the three women lowered her star yell right before she was tackled with a hug.

"Haruka, how did you find us?" she asked quietly, as the blonde shivered from the cold.

The blonde pulled away still shivering. "I wanted to see you one last time so I drove all over trying to find you." she said quietly.

The starlight smiled. She looked gorgeous in her sailor fuku, her figure was perfect and you could barely see her ribs poking out. Her violet eyes still shone in the dark. She hugged the blonde tightly. "I'm always here for you. I know how strong you are and I know you can do this."

Haruka hugged back as tears fell from her eyes. "I know but I'm going to miss you. I don't know if I can handle being alone. I never thought I'd say that but before I always had Michiru to keep me sane now I have nobody."

Maker pulled away slightly and reached out to wipe away her tears. "We believe in you Haruka." she whispered, before bending down and planting a soft kiss on the blonde's cheek. "Now I have to go but I'll see you again soon."

Haruka smiled as the starlight began to walk back towards her daughter and comrades. "Ja!" she called out.

The brunette turned back and flashed her a small smile. "Ja!" she yelled back before lifting her star yell up in the air. Then the 4 of them were surrounded by a bright light and they were gone, leaving 4 shooting stars in the sky.

"I can do this." Haruka whispered, clutching her hand to her chest as she marched back to her car.


	14. Chapter 14

It had been 2 weeks since the starlights had headed back home for Kinmoku and Haruka was extremely lonely. She had practically no one to talk to and she could feel her depression beginning to take over her.

So she decided to call up Ami and Mamoru to discuss birth plans since she had nothing else to do.

The booth she sat at was fairly quiet and there weren't too many people currently present in the small cafe. She knew the two doctors would be there shortly and she was just super early which was rare for her. She tapped her foot impatiently against the floor, hoping that time would pass quicker.

The bell above the door chimed and she spun around in her seat, eager to see someone she knew. "Hello Haruka." the man greeted as he walked over to the booth she sat at, taking a seat at the other end.

"Hello Mamoru." she responded, offering him a small smile.

The young prince returned the smile before pulling out a small notepad from his pocket along with a pen. He quickly flipped it open and jotted something down before closing it back up and setting it down on the table. "So how have you been lately?" he asked, trying to spark a conversation.

Haruka shrugged, letting out a small sigh. "I'm alright, I guess." she said nonchalantly. "You?"

"I've been good, work's been keeping me fairly busy though and Usagi keeps hinting that she wants to get engaged soon." he said, chuckling a little.

The blonde raised an eyebrow and cocked her head slightly. "You two aren't engaged yet? That's a surprise." she muttered, just as the sound of the bell chiming caught her attention.

She turned around to see a frazzled looking Ami run in, obviously in a panic. "Gomen! I didn't mean to be late." she said frantically, as she took a seat beside Mamoru. "My classes went late and so-"

"Ami it's fine." Haruka said, offering her a small smile.

The blue haired girl blushed and let out a nervous laugh. "Ok, I'm glad. I just didn't want to keep you waiting."

Mamoru pulled out his notebook and pen again, setting them down before looking up again at Haruka. "So you were wanting to arrange birth plans?" he asked.

She nodded. "Hai. I know that with twins, a C-section is generally recommended but I don't want a regular doctor freaking out when the babies come out with glowing planetary symbols on their foreheads so I was wondering if either you or Ami would be qualified to do the surgery."

"Well, I'm more of a doctor rather then a surgeon so I wouldn't be able to cut you open per say but I could request to be in the operating room so I can pull the babies out for you."

"And I'm only still a college student so the most I'd probably be able to get permission for would be helping Mamoru remove the babies. I don't know if we could prevent the other surgeons from seeing or not but we could certainly try." Ami added.

"So it's possible?"

The man nodded. "If you phone the hospital I work at and ask them specifically for me to deliver your babies, they could schedule you for a C-section there."

"And I'll ask my professor about being his assistant for that day."

Mamoru wrote something down on his notepad and tore the page out, passing it to Haruka. "Here's the number for the hospital I work at."

"Arigatou."

"It's no problem. Anyways I should be going now but it was nice seeing you, ja." he replied, as he stood up to leave.

Ami also stood up, bowing slightly. "I need to go back to my classes now as well but I'll see you around." she said, waving as she walked out the door.

Haruka sighed as she sat at the empty booth. She stared at the piece of paper in her hand before tucking it into her pocket. She stood up and left the small café, getting into her car quietly.

She put the key in the ignition and started driving without a destination in mind. As she was driving a million thoughts flooded through her mind. When she pulled up to a red light, a huge sign for a baby store up ahead caught her eye.

The light turned green and she drove towards the store. She pulled into the parking lot and parked in a spot that was fairly close to the store. She got out of the car and examined the sign more closely. It read _Baby Blues_ in large blue lettering.

She entered the store and began wandering down the different aisles. In some ways she didn't know why she'd entered the store. She was barely 2 months pregnant and being in the store only reminded her of Michiru. She had grabbed a cart and was slowly beginning to toss random baby clothes in it.

She filled it with dresses, shirts, pants, onesies, diapers, all essential things that her twins would need, but her heart wasn't in it. She didn't feel like she was doing it because she was excited to become a mother, she felt like she was doing it because she had to. Because this was her responsibility now. The happiness just wasn't there.

She was trying to keep her walls up but they came crashing down again when she got to the section for cribs and bedding. She'd found two sets of bedding that reminded her so much of Michiru it hurt. One had ocean creatures and a beautiful picture of the ocean water, where as the other one had pictures of planets and stars up in outer space.

Tears flooded her eyes and she found herself wanting to put them back on the shelf but instead they found their way into her cart. She kept trying to hold her tears in but when she spotted the mobiles, they finally began to fall.

They had mobiles for cribs with all the planets of the solar system. Her eyes fixated on Uranus and Neptune, the people around her staring as she cried over a baby mobile. She quickly wiped her tears away and grabbed two of them, putting them in her cart.

"I want them to know about their mother, even if she can't be there." she whispered to herself, trying to hold it together until she reached her car.

She went to pay and the lineup moved fairly quickly. The girl scanning her items gave her a big smile. "Did you find everything you were looking for?"

 _Everything except Michiru._ She nodded. "Hai." she said.

She paid and made her way to her car, putting everything in the backseat. She climbed into the front seat and let the tears fall once more. As much as it hurt she knew that she had to try and move on so she wiped away her tears and put the key in the ignition, hope filling her heart that she would be ok.


	15. Chapter 15

"Haruka?"

The blonde who had previously been lost in her thoughts jumped slightly in her seat. "Hai?" she asked, adjusting her position on the couch. She was just over 2 months pregnant and she was currently having another one of her sessions with Dr. Lee.

"Is there anything you want to talk about? You look a little bit stressed."

It was true that Haruka had a lot of things on her mind, although the main thing stressing her out was the 'feelings' she'd developed for Taiki. Not knowing how to approach the subject, she shrugged casting her gaze down towards the floor. "I guess." she muttered.

"Do you want to talk about it? I'm here for you if you do but I'm not going to push you to open up about it if you don't want to."

Taking a deep breath in, Haruka forced herself to ask the question that had been bothering her for so long. "Is it wrong to have feelings for someone even though your wife died a month ago?"

The older woman smiled and shook her head. "Haruka it's ok to have feelings for someone. Just because you just lost your wife doesn't make it wrong for you to have feelings for a new person. If anything your wife would want you to be happy. These feelings that you have for someone else doesn't invalidate how much you loved your wife."

She felt the tears beginning to well up in her eyes but she blinked them away, trying to supress the feelings once again. "But what if the person you have feelings for lives all the way on the other end of the world and even if she did return the feelings for you, you can't be together because of your jobs?"

"In a relationship, if you truly love someone distance doesn't matter. If you're meant to be with her, then it won't matter if you can't be together physically. Is it alright if I ask you what this girl is like?"

"She's amazing. She's beautiful, intelligent, witty, caring, soft-spoken and even though she's been through so much and is so guarded because of that, she still has such a kind heart."

Dr. Lee smiled at her again, folding her hands together as she leaned forward in her chair. "She sounds incredible. Can I ask you what her name is?" she asked softly.

Haruka felt fear fill her body and her hands instantly felt sweaty. She didn't want to say out loud, she wasn't ready to admit it to herself, because if she said it out loud that would make it true. It would be true that she was falling for the auburn haired soldier of Kinmoku and she didn't want that to be a reality. She gulped quietly as she closed her eyes, trying to force the name out but she couldn't. "I can't."

The black haired woman sat back in her chair as she grabbed her cup of tea off of her desk, taking a long sip before speaking. "That's alright, I was just curious."

"It's just... If I say it out loud then that makes what I'm feeling real and I don't know if I can handle that."

"I understand." she replied, offering her a reassuring smile before pausing. "Can I ask you to do something for me?"

"What?"

"Can I ask you to just think about your feelings for this woman and try to process them? You don't have to ask her out, but just take some time to truly think about these feelings because you've been trying to supress them and deny them. That's not healthy for you."

The blonde stared at her for a minute before nodding. "I can do that."

The session eventually came to a close and Haruka went to pay at the front desk. Dr. Lee stood beside her smiling as she finished up. "I'll see you next week! Remember what I told you!" she called out as the blonde walked out the door.

Haruka sighed as she got into her car. She didn't want to do this but Dr. Lee was right. It wasn't healthy for her to bottle up her feelings and pretend they don't exist. So she put the key in the ignition and began driving.

She drove until she found herself in the park where Taiki had told her about her eating disorder and where she'd be running that one day and Taiki had scared the shit out of her by showing up unexpectedly. She knew that she wasn't dressed properly to go running but she didn't care. She got out of her car and walked over to the tracks she'd ran across so many times. She began running and the wind in her hair calmed her slightly.

She ran until her legs couldn't go any farther, and she found herself doubled over in pain trying to catch her breath. She slowly walked back to her car and once she was back in, she began driving again.

When she spotted the café, she parked her car and walked in. This had been the place where their friendship had truly begun. She entered the café and the bell above the door made it's familiar chime. She walked up to the cashier and gave him a small smile. She ordered a chocolate milkshake and grabbed an empty booth in the corner of the café while she waited for her milkshake to be brought out.

She pictured Taiki sitting across from her, laughing and making sarcastic comments or reading her a poem from her book. She found herself silently laughing at the memories but she was interrupted by a man bringing her drink out. She thanked him and soon she was alone again with her thoughts and the milkshake that reminded her so much of the brunette.

After only a few sips of the rich chocolaty drink, she couldn't handle anymore as the flavour brought back too many emotions. She grabbed her glass and poured the remaining liquid in the trash before bringing the empty glass up to the counter.

The bell chimed again as she left, getting into her car again. Once again she began driving until she spotted the hotel the starlights had stayed in.

She pulled into an empty parking spot and stared at the building, the memory of how vulnerable and broken Taiki had been that night. She'd acted differently towards the brunette as well. She was never that patient with anyone but when she was with her, her heart felt lighter and she felt... she felt...

She scratched her chin as she tried to think of the word she was looking for but nothing came to mind. Or maybe it was just that she was blocking the word out of her mind.

Either way she pulled out of the parking lot and began driving home, the sky beginning to grow dark above her. She got home and walked inside, the house being silent as usual.

She stared at her door where she'd seen Taiki standing so many times, she looked at her couch where she'd sat laughing and talking with the brunette on different occasions. She slowly walked upstairs and into her bedroom, where she plopped herself down quietly.

Taiki had slept here with her before. That was when she'd had that dream. That dream that had started all of this internal chaos. She turned around and noticed a small white piece of paper on her dresser.

Standing up, she walked over to her dresser and picked up the piece of paper only to find that it was actually a photograph. It was from Taiki's last day on earth and they'd got it when Haruka had dragged the younger girl to the amusement park early that morning. It had been taken on a roller coaster and Taiki was screaming, her auburn hair blowing in the wind behind her while her face was buried in the blonde's chest who was also screaming but had a large smile plastered on her face.

There was no hiding from it anymore.

Tears filled her eyes as she dropped the photo, her legs giving way beneath her. She couldn't deny it anymore, it was staring her in the face, her brain was screaming it at her, but she didn't know how to say it out loud. A sob escaped her throat just as hot tears spilled down her cheeks.

She had to say it out loud, she had no choice anymore. She opened her mouth to let the words out but they wouldn't come, it was if her whole body was shutting down just at the thought.

She closed her eyes as tight as she possibly could and opened her mouth one more time. "I have feelings for Taiki." she managed to yell, the words burning a hole in her heart, as she rested her head tiredly on the floor, tears still pouring down her cheeks. "I like Taiki." she whispered, the words resonating in her heart.


	16. Chapter 16

"Finished!" Haruka exclaimed, as she took a step back to examine her hard work. She'd spent the past 6 and a half hours painting the walls of what had once been a guest room, a bright shade of aqua blue. "Now I just have to purchase the cribs." she said, as she put a hand on her stomach. She was a little over 3 months pregnant and it was fairly evident to strangers that she was expecting.

She brushed the beads of sweat off her forehead and began walking over to her bedroom. She peeled off her paint stained clothes and dumped them on the floor before walking over to her washroom.

Locking the door behind her, she stepped into the tub and turned the water to a boiling hot temperature just how she liked it. As she showered million thoughts of flooded her mind. It had been 2 months since Michiru died and she was slowly beginning to build her walls back up and put herself back together.

She'd also finally accepted the fact that she had feelings for Taiki and it didn't hurt as much when the thoughts came back into her mind. Yes she still frequently went to visit Michiru's grave and she still broke down and cried about her a lot, but she was starting to move past everything.

Eventually she finished in the shower and she turned the water off, as she stepped out of the tub to grab a towel. She grabbed a fluffy white towel and wrapped it around her waist. She smiled as she grabbed the door knob, closing her eyes as she hummed some random tune to herself.

Her eyes still closed, she pulled the door open and entered her room, beginning to walk over to where her dresser was.

"Enjoy your shower?"

She screamed as she lost her grip on her towel and fell to the floor, her naked body now exposed to the world around her. She looked up to see Maker sitting on her bed, snickering at her. "What the hell Maker?" she yelled, as she frantically reached for her towel. "First of all why are you here? Why did you scare me like that? And how the fuck did you get into my house?"

The brunette cocked her head as she stared at her. "Really? I'm a sailor senshi from another galaxy and you're confused as to how I got into your house? I know how to pick a lock."

Haruka groaned as she stood up, walking towards her. "I do hate you for doing that, but I missed you." she said, as she wrapped her arms tightly around the brunette.

She felt the younger girl hug back, her arms wrapping around her neck loosely. "I missed you too." she whispered, as time seemed to freeze momentarily. Haruka seemed to notice every little detail in those few seconds that the starlight was in her arms. She noticed how her slender hands felt as they rested at the base of her neck, how her head only reached her chest because she was sitting and was now resting there gently, how her own hands rested at the small of her back touching cold exposed skin and soft stands of auburn hair that had fallen out of her ponytail.

As quickly as the moment had begun, it was over just as fast and her arms were empty again. The violet eyed starlight was staring up at her and patted the empty space beside her on the bed. "I have news for you." she said, as the blonde sat down.

"What is it?"

"Yaten gave birth today."

A small smile made it's way onto Haruka's face. "What'd she name them? Does she know which one is the next healer and which one's the next fighter?"

Maker shook her head. "They won't know who's the next fighter and who's the next healer until they're kids. We don't have planetary symbols and because both of their parents are sailor soldiers it's harder to tell who will be what. But whichever one is the next healer will be an empath and she will develop her skills at around age 8. But her first daughter was named Miyumi and her twin was named Kyoko."

"Was the birth hard on her?"

"Yeah it was pretty difficult for her. Healer's can't have any kind of surgery because their healing abilities makes them naturally immune to any medicine or anesthetic so she had to give birth naturally."

Haruka nodded as she stood up, walking over to her dresser. "Well that's certainly good news but why'd you come all the way here to tell me? What about the other sailor scouts? I'm sure Fighter would love Usagi to know."

Maker shrugged. "They wanted to keep it fairly private for the time being."

"I understand that but why me?" she asked, as she walked back over to her bed with a fresh t-shirt and jeans. "Turn around, I'm going to change."

The brunette turned the other way as Haruka proceeded to drop her towel on the floor. "Well you're different."

"How?"

"You're one of my good friends."

"Again, what about the others, like Ami, Makoto, them?"

Maker shook her head, quietly laughing to herself. "You still don't get it. Yes they're good friends, but you're different."

Haruka had already finished getting changed and was beginning to get frustrated with the girl's cryptic answers. "I know that but how?" she asked as she sat back down beside her.

"Because you've seen me at some of my worst times. None of the other scouts even have a clue about that part about me. But you... you've been there for me through some of my toughest moments and I've seen you in some of your darkest hours."

Her words hit her in the heart and she felt her cheeks heating up. "Oh."

"They'd like you to come meet the twins."

"But I wouldn't be back here in time and-"

"You can stay the night."

"Maker you don't have to do that."

"We have plenty of room, it's not an issue."

Haruka was about to protest but when she lifted her gaze up she was met with purple eyes that held a sense of longing in them and she found herself unable to say no. She let out a sigh of defeat as she ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. "Alright. But only for one night."

The brunette smiled at her as she stood up, patting the older girl on the top of her head gently. "I'm glad."

Haruka stood up as well and walked over to her dresser, carefully opening the top drawer. She was met with the sight of her henshin rod which was dusty from lack of use. The symbol of Uranus still shone brightly on the top even though the rest of it was covered in a thin layer of dust. She grabbed it and was greeted with the familiar sensation of security as she gripped it in her hand. "Uranus Planet Power Make Up!" she shouted, as she was enveloped in a bright yellow light.

After a few split seconds the light faded and in her place stood Uranus, hands on her hips as she familiarized herself with her senshi form. Her fuku fit much more tightly to her stomach now that she was pregnant but other then that everything was how she remembered it.

She noticed Maker extend a hand towards her and she grabbed it, intertwining their fingers gently which earned her a soft giggle from the other girl, causing those damn butterflies to start swarming like wild in her stomach.

They walked outside where they were enveloped in the sun's warm light. Uranus led the starlight to her backyard where several trees had grown, hiding them from the world around them.

It had been forever since she'd teleported to another planet but she still remembered how to do it. She pulled out her sword at the same time that Maker had lifted her star yell up, and put all her concentration into to where she wanted to go.

She felt light and weightless for a split second before the feeling of gravity returned. She opened her eyes only to find that she was standing in an unfamiliar place, Maker still standing beside her. "Is this Kinmoku?" she asked quietly.

Maker nodded, gesturing to the castle that stood in front of them. She motioned for the blonde to follow her as she led her up to the castle doors.

The doors opened and Uranus was led through long hallways, each filled with ornate murals and decorations before they reached a snow white room. The brunette put a finger on her lips before she opened the glass doors to the room.

They walked over to a section of the room that had been closed off by a pure white curtain. Maker carefully pulled the curtain aside for the scout to enter. There in front of her was Yaten laying on a white cot in a hospital gown, fast asleep, while Fighter sat beside her holding her hand softly in her own. Beside the bed was two basinets that contained two babies, one with silver hair and one with pure black hair.

"Congratulations Fighter." Uranus said quietly, as she walked closer to the two women.

Fighter looked up at the noise and smiled when she saw who was there. "Arigatiou Uranus."

The blonde turned her attention to the two sleeping babies in front of her. "Which one is which?"

"The one with silver hair is Kyoko and the black haired little girl is Miyumi."

"They're beautiful."

"Arigatou."

A peaceful silence filled the room for a few minutes before Uranus felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Maker smiling down at her. "I'm going to go take care of Misa but I'll see you in a bit." she said, before walking off quietly.

"Uranus." The older girl spun around to see the black haired girl patting the seat beside her. "Come sit."

The blonde hesitated for a moment before walking over to her, sitting down on the empty seat. Fighter smiled at her before returning her attention to her sleeping wife.

A question popped up in the scout's mind and before she knew it, it was already out of her mouth. "How did you know you were in love with Yaten?"

Fighter turned around, a shocked expression on her face as she stared at the blonde before soft laughter escaped her mouth. "Me and Yaten, eh?" she asked quietly to herself. "I don't even know to be honest. The more I was around her, the more I surprisingly found myself falling for her. I found myself wanting to help her even when she was being stubborn as all hell, I found myself getting butterflies in my stomach whenever she was near, I craved her touch often, I held onto every word she said as if it was gospel, and then one day I guess I just realized I had fallen in love with this beautiful, crazy fool that I have for a team mate."

At that the silver haired woman stirred ever so slightly in her sleep and Fighter chuckled as she rubbed her hand gently. "Even in her sleep she still knows when I'm teasing her."

But Uranus didn't hear the last thing she said. She was too busy going over the mental checklist in her head.

Wanting to help Maker? Check.

Butterflies? Definite check.

Craving her touch? Check.

Holding onto every word the auburn haired light spoke? ...Check.

She knew she'd had feelings for her but was she really falling in love with her? She felt a tap on her shoulder and she looked up to see Fighter staring at her with concerned eyes. "Daijoubu? You zoned out?"

She nodded. "Hai, daijoubu. I'm just tired. I think I'm going to go explore the castle if that's alright with you."

The leader of the starlights gave her a smile. "Of course. Go have fun, but don't break anything."

Uranus got up and left, waving goodbye quickly as she left the small room. She began wandering through the halls aimlessly before an open door that led outside caught her eye. She wandered towards it and saw that it led towards a small balcony.

Standing at the railing was the brown haired starlight who was staring out at the sky. Uranus walked towards her, resting her arms on the railing in front of them once she reached her.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Maker asked quietly.

The blonde stared at her for a moment, taking in all her features, her beautiful violet eyes that sparkled whenever light hit them, her gentle smile, her auburn hair that she just wanted to run her fingers through, her slender body, everything about her. She smiled at her before turning her attention back to the sky in front of them. "Hai, it is beautiful." she whispered.


	17. Chapter 17

The next day arrived all too quickly and soon it would be time for Haruka to return to Earth once again. She woke up in the unfamiliar room, confused for a moment before remembering where she was. She henshined and slowly exited her room.

She walked towards the dining room where Fighter and Kakyuu were sitting together laughing and eating breakfast. Kakyuu noticed her first and waved her over with a smile. "Come eat, Uranus! There's plenty of food."

She smiled at them as she took a seat at the end of the table. "Where's Maker?" she asked as Fighter passed her a plate from the center of the table.

"She's on guard duty." the younger girl responded as the blonde filled her plate. "But I know you want to say goodbye to her so she's getting off an hour early so she can say a proper goodbye to you."

Uranus smiled at her as Kakyuu helped her fill her plate. "How's Yaten doing? I know she must still be exhausted after giving birth yesterday."

"She's doing alright. She's been sleeping a lot but that's her normal. She was awake for a little while this morning and I tried talking to her but she threw a book, that I'd left beside her, at my head." she said, with a shrug.

Uranus winced as she picked up her utensils that had been laid out for her. "Sounds painful."

"I'm used to it."

As the three of them continued to chat while they ate, Uranus continued to wonder how she'd gotten herself into this situation. One year ago if the starlights had shown up at her door, she probably would have attacked them with a world shaking and have cussed them all the way back to Kinmoku. But now here she was, sitting in their palace, talking with Fighter, thinking about Yaten who was recovering from giving birth, and falling in love with Maker all at the same time.

They eventually finished eating and Fighter gathered up their plates to clean them just as Uranus felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked back to see Maker looking at her with a gentle smile on her face as she gave her shoulder a light squeeze. "I heard you wanted to say goodbye to me."

The blonde tried her hardest not to blush as she stood up from her chair, brushing the other girl's hand away. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Maker chuckled quietly at her as she extended her hand towards her. "Why don't we do this outside?" she asked softly, her violet eyes sparkling with happiness.

Uranus gave her a small smile as she slipped her hand inside hers, giving her hand a gentle squeeze as she winked at her. "Sure. Lead the way."

The two walked out the main doors and past the palace guards and over to a tall tree in front of the palace. Maker let go of her hand and gave her a small smile. "Thanks for coming Uranus. I know it meant a lot to Fighter that you came, and it means a lot to me too."

"It's no problem. Thanks for letting me stay here. I know that five years ago that was probably the last thing you thought you'd ever do." she said jokingly.

The brunette laughed slightly in response, nodding her head ever so slightly. "Yeah you're right. But things are different now, people change. And I'm glad that we were able to put our differences aside."

Uranus tried to hide the giddy smile that wanted to show on her face and tried to quickly blink away the tears forming in her eyes. Before Maker had the chance to observe these features, the older woman quickly wrapped her in a tight hug, resting her hands on the small of her back.

Maker wrapped her arms gently around her neck, resting her head ever so lightly on her shoulder as Uranus prayed that the brunette couldn't hear how loud her heart was beating. The hug seemed to last for what felt like an hour and Uranus cherished every second of it even though it only lasted 30 seconds before the young mom pulled away, beaming her gentle smile at her.

"Take care Uranus."

"You too." Uranus whispered back, quickly walking away so that she wouldn't see the tears that were starting to fall.

She teleported back to Earth and after what felt like an eternity, she arrived back in her yard. She quickly dehenshined before walking back inside her house. She plopped herself down on her couch, covering her face with her hands in frustration, letting out a loud moan.

Pulling her hands away her gaze was brought over to the clock on her wall. Even though she'd left Kinmoku at around noon it was already 4 PM. She cast her gaze down towards the floor before a picture on the wall caught her eye. It was a portrait of Michiru taken when they first started dating.

When had she last gone to visit her grave? It had definitely been over a week ago maybe close to two at this rate. She found herself rising from the couch and grabbing her wallet off the coffee table.

She walked towards the door, quickly putting a jacket on before heading outside, wanting to get to the cemetery before it was too dark to see anything. She got into her car and put the keys in the ignition before beginning to drive.

She drove for a little while before she reached her local grocery store. She parked her car and went inside, heading over to the section where they generally kept the flowers. She scanned over the remaining bouquets before she settled on a small one that consisted of daisies, violets and a single red rose in the center. It was tied together with a aqua bow which was slightly damp from the wet stems.

She picked up the bouquet and walked over to an empty checkout line where she set it down in front of the cashier. The cashier was a little old lady with long silver hair and a gentle smile. "These are beautiful flowers. Are they for your sister?" she asked as she scanned the flowers.

Haruka shook her head. "No they're actually for my wife." she replied as she dug some money out of her wallet.

The little old lady gave her a warm smile as the blonde passed her the money. "I'm sure she'll love them."

Haruka picked the bouquet up and gave her a small smile before walking away. "I hope so she muttered to herself."

She got back into her car and put the flowers down on the seat beside her before starting her drive over to the cemetery.

She drove for what felt like an eternity before she arrived there. The parking lot was fairly empty so it wasn't hard at all for her to find a decent spot. She parked and gently grabbed the bouquet of flowers before getting out of her car. She slowly started her walk to her grave which wasn't hard at all to find since there were still a couple bouquets there and a few framed pictures like her and Ami at a swimming contest, her and Hotaru on the young girl's first day of seventh grade, Setsuna posing with her at one of her violin recitals and one of her and Haruka on their two year anniversary.

The woman sighed as she gently laid the fresh bouquet down in front of her grave. She sat down gently on the ground, tears in her eyes as she started to speak. "Hey Michiru. I've missed you. Sorry I haven't come to see you lately, I've been going through a lot of stuff. Me and Setsuna are in the middle of a big fight and the only person I can really talk to about it is on Kinmoku. I feel so alone and I don't know what to do." she said softly, as a tear trickled down her cheek.

"The twins are doing well but I don't know how I'm supposed to raise them on my own. I don't want to fail them as a parent." she whispered, looking down at the ground. "I need to tell you something and you won't be happy about it but I have to tell you.

"I don't know how and I don't know why but I've started to fall for Taiki. I know you're probably mad at me but trust me after losing you I never wanted to fall in love again, especially not with her. But I've started to fall for her and I don't know what to do Michiru. I feel like such a terrible person for falling for another women only a couple months after losing my wife. I know you probably hate me and I'm so so sorry. I hope you can forgive me and I hope you know how much I love you, I'll always love you no matter what even though I don't deserve you." she sobbed, the tears falling faster and faster. She was crying so hard she barely noticed how cloudy it was getting above her, looking like it was going to start raining at any given moment.

"Ashiteru Michiru." She whispered tiredly as she curled up into a ball on the ground. She could feel a splattering of rain on her back but she was too exhausted to care. The rain began to fall harder and harder but she was already fast asleep as the rain pounded heavily on her back.

/

When she woke up she found herself in a strange room that she'd never seen before. As she sat up she realized she had been laying on a couch and she was wrapped in a warm blanket. As she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes her vision started to clear and she could make out an office desk in front of her, an old man seated there, eyes focused on the computer screen in front of him.

The sound of movement caused him to tear his eyes away from the screen and when he noticed that the young women was awake, he immediately jumped up from his chair. "Oh good, you're awake. I was worried about you."

"Arigatou, but who are you?" Haruka asked, as the man walked closer to her.

He smiled and handed her a warm mug of hot chocolate. "I'm Mr. Yamatashi , I work here at the cemetery in the office so that way if someone comes in and can't find a certain person's tombstone I can just look it up in my big directory and guide them to it. But you can just call me Hirotoshi." he said, giving her another warm smile. He had gentle blue eyes and silvery hair which was receding, leaving his scalp bald.

Haruka took a long sip of the warm chocolaty beverage as she shivered from the coldness of her wet clothes, which she still was wearing underneath the blanket. "How did I wind up in here?"

"Well I was checking the security cameras like I always do and I saw a figure curled up besides a tombstone. I looked outside and saw that it was pouring rain so I ran outside. I immediately spotted you and with what little strength I have left at my old age, I managed to scoop you up and rush you indoors so you wouldn't catch a cold from the rain."

"Arigatou." she replied, giving him a grateful smile.

"You're welcome dear. You must be going through a lot lately, I looked up the tombstone you were at while you're asleep and I see this young woman passed fairly recently. Were you two close?"

"Hai, she was my wife."

"Oh, gomen. This must be awfully hard for you. I noticed you're pregnant as well, I can't imagine how you're coping with all of this."

Haruka didn't respond and simply stared down at the carpeted floor, not wanting to be vulnerable with this stranger.

Hirotoshi noticed her discomfort and immediately began to apologize. "Ah, gomenasai. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, it's just I know what you're going through." he said, causing her to look up at him.

"My son Akio was a single father for the longest time to my little granddaughter Mei. His girlfriend left him after she gave birth and left him alone to raise her. He eventually realized he was gay when Mei was around 2 years old and he wound up falling in love with a man named Eric who lived in America.

"Akio wound up moving to America with Mei to be with Eric and the two got married, close to three years ago now. I flew out to visit whenever I could and Akio was always so happy. But then last year he unexpectedly had a heart attack at the age of 26 and passed away, leaving Eric and Mei behind."

"Gomen, that must have been really hard for you."

He nodded, letting out a small sigh. "Hai. They flew his remains out here to be buried and Eric wound up moving here with Mei to be closer to me, since Akio's mother or my loving wife, passed away when he was an infant so I'm the only family he had left. Just a couple months though Eric started dating a young man here named Fujio and they've been happy together ever since."

Haruka listened intently, taking another sip of her drink before asking the question on her mind. "Did Eric ever feel guilty about moving on from Akio?"

"Of course, he came to me when he started dating Fujio and apologized for dating another man so soon after his death."

"And what did you tell him?"

"I told him Akio would want him to be happy. Akio would want Eric to find love and to have a happy life. That doesn't mean the love Eric had with my son wasn't real but he was entering into another love that was just as beautiful as the first one in it's own way, but that doesn't mean it eliminated what was there before."

Haruka shivered from the dampness of her clothes and the old man sighed. "Gomen, I would have brought you some warm clothes but there weren't any around here."

"Daijoubu, I'll change when I get home." she said, as she stood up from the couch.

"Alright drive safely and if you ever need anything, come stop by and see me. I'm pretty much always here." he said with a friendly wink.

She returned the smile and exited the building, giving him a small wave. The rain had pretty much cleared up, leaving only a small drizzle outside as she walked to her car. The sky was already pitch black but the stars scattered among it seemed to light her way.

She felt a lightness in her heart that hadn't been there in a long time and she was finally beginning to accept the feelings that clouded her mind. She had already admitted them to herself, now she had to accept that they were there which she was already halfway there.

But the real question is, what comes after that? Does she confess her feelings or seal them away in her heart until the day she dies?


	18. Chapter 18

The day had come for Haruka to find out the genders of her twins, although it was a bit silly since she already knew for sure that they were both girls but the other scouts had encouraged her to do it anyways because it was the principle of the thing.

She was already 4 months pregnant and it was very evident to strangers that she was expecting. She was constantly having random strangers approach her and congratulate her or ask if they could feel her belly. Normally when they asked, she'd turn them down and walk away. She still wasn't comfortable with her body being the way it was. She had never imagined herself pregnant. She'd always pictured it being Michiru who carried their child not her.

There were days when she'd wake up and she'd forget about everything that had happened within the past few years but then she'd stand up and she'd notice her belly which would remind her of what she'd lost.

She should have been more excited about becoming a mom but the energy and happiness just wasn't there. She wasn't ready to be a mom to two girls who she'd have to mentor and teach to become guardians of a queen. She couldn't handle all that responsibility on her own. Sure the other scouts had volunteered to help out if need be but she knew that in reality it would only be if she needed a babysitter or someone to watch the twins, she knew the others wouldn't help raise her babies and help her through the difficulties of parenthood.

She felt guilty about the fact that she wasn't excited about becoming a mom, after all motherhood was supposed to be a joyous experience so she should be ecstatic about her future. But without Michiru she just didn't see the point in trying.

When she watched Taiki with Misa, or Seiya and Yaten with their twins, she saw the maternal instincts in them, the joy in their eyes and the love that oozed out of them. She envied them. She wished she could feel that same attachment to her children so she could raise them well and give them a good life.

She had debated about cancelling the appointment and just staying home since the whole idea seemed a bit redundant but in the end she managed to force herself to get up and go, casually throwing a hoodie and some sweats on before leaving the house.

When she arrived at the doctor's office she was directed by a nurse at the front desk to the waiting area for those who were expecting. She walked in and was greeted with the sight of young happy couples sitting together and laughing, most if not all of the females sporting a baby bump and some who already had young children toddling around.

Haruka felt out of place as she sat down in an empty chair in the corner of the room. Here were all these lovely cheery couples around her and compared to them she stood out like a sore thumb. She felt awkward as she sat there alone and she tried to force a smile onto her face as she grabbed a magazine on parenting that was laying beside her but she could still feel the eyes of some people watching her, trying to figure out what a tough young lady was doing in the pregnancy ward.

She kept her focus on the pages of the magazine, forcing herself not to make eye contact with anyone. She heard the occasional snicker or whisper that was probably directed at her but she fought back the urge to jump up from her chair and start yelling at everyone in the waiting area.

It felt like she had been sitting there for hours when finally she was called. She was led by the receptionist to an empty doctor's office where she was told to sit down on the examination table and wait.

A few minutes later in walked a young man with shaggy brown hair and a gentle smile. "Hello, I'm Dr. Fukuda. You must be Haruka Tenoh, nice to meet you." he said, extending his hand towards her.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she shook his hand. "Nice to meet you too."

He smiled at her and took a seat in his big office chair. "So Mrs. Tenoh I understand that you were seeing a different doctor before me. Any health concerns that I should be made aware of?"

She shook her head. "Nope, I'm perfectly healthy."

"That's good to hear. How has your pregnancy been up until this point?"

"Exhausting, both emotionally and physically. I had really bad morning sickness the first two months but its settled down now. I've felt really emotional lately, more so then normal. I also get a lot of times where I have to lay down because my back is aching. Plus I've started getting awful headaches that seem to last for days."

"Most of those are common symptoms, not anything to worry about. Are there any other things that you're concerned about? Like say spotting or severe migraines or constant nausea?"

Haruka shook her head. "No, I haven't been experiencing any of those things."

"Good. So how about we do an ultrasound now and we can check on how your twins are doing. Plus I can tell you the genders if you'd like to know."

"Sure."she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Ok, just lie back on the examination table and lift your sweater up."

Haruka did as told and lied back, lifting her hoodie up to expose her swollen belly. She saw the doctor approaching her as he rubbed some blue goo on her stomach. She watched as he began running his transducer along her belly which caused an image to appear on the computer screen across the room.

She could make out the two little dots that were her babies and she felt a twinge of guilt hit her when she saw them. Her daughters were alive and well and she'd barely even stopped to think about them or care about them. She'd been so wrapped up in her grief and love life that she'd pushed her babies aside.

The doctor turned to look at her and gave her a warm smile. "It looks like your babies are doing just fine. Do you want to know what you're having?"

"Hai."

He looked over at the screen for a moment before turning back to her. "Congratulations Mrs. Tenoh! You're going to be the mother of twin girls."

Haruka felt a big grin cross her face even though she already knew what she was having. She imagined this must be what it was like for normal people when they found out the gender their baby. "Arigatou." she muttered, wiping the goo off her belly as she slowly sat back up.

"Would you like a copy of your ultrasound?"

She nodded and the doctor left to fetch her a photocopy.

About a half an hour later after she'd received the ultrasound copy and a bottle of prenatal vitamins she made her way home and immediately sat down on her bed to look at the picture.

She felt herself tearing up as she looked at it and she placed a hand on her belly as she vowed to herself to be the best mother her daughters could have.

She walked over to her dresser to put the picture somewhere but a tiny slip of white paper sticking out from the corner of her dresser caught her eye. She put the ultrasound down and tried to bend down to see what the mysterious paper could be.

It took her a while as her belly got in the way but she finally managed to get the slip of paper out.

She recognized the handwriting right away as that of Michirus. At the top were the words "Baby name ideas". There were two suggestions she'd written down and then she'd stopped.

"Kimi and Kaede." Haruka read out loud. She had no idea when her wife had written the tiny list down but the names seemed to jump out at her as if it were a sign from above. So it was in that moment she decided that her twin girls would be named Kimi and Kaede.


End file.
